Gravestone Humor

On grave stones you can read sentiments like these: Don’t lay flowers, please; I have awful allergies. Don’t be fooled; I’m dead, if I wasn’t then, I am now. If you find my gravestone gaudy, blame my wife, she has no taste. Cemeteries are the only places you’ll find names without faces. Your life will end here, like it or rot. And you thought life was boring? Finally, peace and quiet! At last success – I’ve stopped smoking, boozing, and wowanizing. I sleep very soundly now. I never suffer from insomnia. I never wanted to be here. It was my wife’s idea. Thank God, quiet neighbors! Sorry, nothing here I didn’t expect. Why are you whispering? I can’t hear you. I no longer have to get up to relieve myself. What a blessing!