Grandma and Her Beautiful Toilet Seat
My grandmother purchased the most beautiful toilet seat.
She cherished and coveted it, and never let our bottoms meet.
It’s mine, she said. I am the only one who can use it.
Her husband tried to use it once, and she pitched a royal fit.
It is gorgeous we all agreed, trying to sneak in there and try.
Grandma had a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree glass eye.
If you kids want to get a whooping, thoroughly beat,
Just put your naked petootsies upon my pretty toilet seat!
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