Goldie: the Princess Who Found Her Prince
GOLDIE: THE PRINCESS WHO FOUND HER PRINCE
She knocked on the door, completely soaked to the skin,
Hoping that someone was there, who would kindly let her in.
The storm had caught her, she was normally so pristine,
But this was no ordinary princess, her name was Christine.
The door swung open, a hunched old lady did wait,
Here was another person, drenched and arriving so late.
This hag was a witch, who had just captured two
They were Hansel and Gretel, who were going to become stew.
A bed was made, in which Christine would sleep,
Because of a pea, it was uncomfortable, not deep.
The normally pristine, mentioned to the witchy hag,
Her lack of shut eye, the pea, but not wanting to nag.
‘Never mind that!’ the hag said to Chris,
‘I’ve a couple of brats, who’ve been taking the piss!
They’ve been eating my house and up to no good,
Now I'm going to cook them and then they will be food.’
‘So switch the oven on, my dear princess Christine,
And I shall put on a display, like you've never seen.’
‘You can't do that, you wicked witch. It's not right you see!’
Christine said, ‘I've seen enough, I’m reporting you to the RSPCC!’
Hansel and Gretel were shaking and scared,
We’re they going to die, before being prepared?
But Christine knew there was a way round this,
Using the pea as a weapon, she definitely must not miss.
She threw the pea as hard as one could,
Hitting the witch ‘tween the eyes, where she stood.
Falling to the floor, witchy is knocked out cold,
Princess frees the kids and tells them to be bold.
They heaved the witch towards the oven door,
Gave her a shove ‘n’ a push, then a little bit more.
Into the big oven, this evil hag was put,
With her **** stuck out, they had to give it a boot.
Hey ho, the haggardy hag, is now deader than dead,
So they stayed for a while, eating the house instead.
Having gained their strength, they moved further afield,
A man they would meet and Christine’s heart would yield.
Hansel and Gretel skipped happily away,
Finding a place where they could forever stay.
The princess Christine had found her happiness,
They found a churchman and them he would bless.
Goldie finally got her Prince, he was her loving man,
Blissfully happy with everything, doing what they can.
The doors are now closing on this little rhyme,
And love prevails for these two, ‘til the end of time.
The End.
Chris Gair
23 December 2016.
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