Get Your Premium Membership

God's Return Ticket

Poet's Notes

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Gary Bateman.

Author’s Notes: "God's Return Ticket" is a narrative poem I originally completed on February 7, 2015 for my first published book to give a tongue-in-cheek spoof on reincarnation. (I'm just now getting around to posting this poem to Poetry Soup.) God's Return Ticket is written from a "what-if" perspective and should be taken as the light-hearted thought-piece it is. I certainly did not (and do not) intend it as a write that's disrespectful of anyone's religious beliefs when it comes to the topic of reincarnation. This poem just presents this intriguing subject from another perspective, albeit a slightly irreverent one. (Gary Bateman - October 27, 2015) (Narrative)

Categories:  beauty, creation, earth, emotions, god, heaven, and judgement.

God's Return Ticket

Did you ever wonder about the Almighty’s criteria or selection process for reincarnation of souls back on Earth? Just think some famous politician, movie star, sports figure,criminal, dictator, and so on could use “God’s Return Ticket” to appear once again on our earthly plane one day as another person in body and spirit. Yet, how would you react as a transient soul in God’s Kingdom if you found out that your return options would be perhaps as an elephant, a gorilla, a lion, a toad, a snake, a bird, a dog, a cat, a fish, a whale, a snail, an octopus, a flower, a tree, an insect or even some type of inanimate object. The possibilities when one thinks about these options could be practically unlimited!
Now that I’ve maybe captured or at least heightened your attention to this spiritual possibility (even if just for the sake of conversation), imagine for a moment in the reveries of your mind and imagination of what it might be like to return to Earth as one the following:

A Former Man as a Woman: This time around you might have a definite edge since you subconsciously know how men think.

A Former Dictator as a Peacemaker: Historical first-hand knowledge of having been a brutal leader may enhance your efforts in negotiating peace in the world. (One can only hope!)  

A Former Hobo as a Wealthy Person: You’ve got a man now who may be respectful of those who are less fortunate. Such a wealth person may become a budding philanthropist. 

A Former Criminal as a Man of God (priest/rabbi/minister): Well this would be a turn-around whereby a former criminal now has the advantage of being a Man of God and has a direct connection to what he perpetrated and experienced when he was on the other side of the law. This experience may make him a better priest, rabbi or minister in the end. 

An Elephant: A quite stately and wonderful mammal indeed whose presence certainly enhances the Animal-Mammal Kingdom on Earth. Elephants are vegetarians and by their nature are not a threat to anyone. Returning as one today could be problematic given the mindless decimation of their herds worldwide by merciless poachers and criminals who represent one of the most sadistic and despicable parts of the “human race” today. (Let us all hope these individuals go straight to “Hell” when they die one day for what they’re doing to our elephants!)

A Gorilla: This could be viewed as a step back from whence you came as a human being, that is, depending on your views and belief system concerning evolution. I would think though it would be better to come back as a Gorilla in the wild than being one in a zoo. At least you would have your freedom, but then the challenge to this would be doing your best to survive the many poachers who would be trying to capture or kill you and your Gorilla loved ones!

A Lion: This choice might not be so bad. Just think, you could return as the “King of the Jungle.” A word of caution is in order though: stay in the wild and avoid being captured and put in a zoo or your “King of the Jungle” days will be past tense.														
A Toad: Just think, you’d acquire the unusual ability to hop around on “all-fours,” eating your favorite insects, and making croaking sounds all through the night.

A Snake: These reptiles are scary and are probably not the first reincarnation of choice. The real question might be what type of snake would one come back as. Good Luck! 

A Bird: Coming back as a bird would give you a chance to switch over to a diet of worms and help you to develop and hone your skills chirping and whistling all day long. Enchanting!

A Dog: This could be an interesting return to the mortal world. The question would be what size and type of dog you would come back as, and would you be the “quite type” or a “barker.” At least you’ll be man’s best friend.

A Cat: Being reincarnated as a cat would make you very popular with cat lovers and just think—you may end up inheriting the complete gene set for the nine lives’ gift of regeneration. Not bad at all! 

A Fish: Returning as a fish may give you satisfaction in knowing that you are a vital part of the world’s food consumption. If you come back as a specialty fish this might not be the case. Beware of returning as a Piranha, unless you plan revenge on someone who wronged you in a previous life. But as a Piranha—you won’t have many friends.

A Whale: Returning as one of these majestic mammals might indeed be a quite fabulous experience. Size matters in this instance and commands respect, but beware of poachers—another courtesy of mankind—at its very worst.

A Snail: This existence back on planet Earth may not be the most pleasant for you’ll be subjected to possibly being eaten or squashed by an inattentive passerby. Your very slow self-mode of movement will be challenging too.

An Octopus: Imagine your ready mobility in the sea and the newfound extent of your manual dexterity as you move under the water. You could be the new found hit of the underwater sea party!

A Flower: This could a wonderful experience especially if you were to be a radiantly beautiful flower. You would be a welcome addition to the plant world and could be the focus of people who seek out your beauty or perhaps want to pick you as a symbol of love and emotions. Think Red Rose!

A Tree: Well a tree may give a reincarnated soul a chance at a much longer finite life on Earth before dying or being destroyed by man. At least one would have the satisfaction of knowing that their presence as a tree would help improve the carbon dioxide imbalance on our planet. 

An Insect: A lot of insects are really nasty, but if you can make it back as a Honey Bee or Butterfly that would be grand.

An Inanimate Object: Just think you could come back as a plain old rock or stone or a seashell.

Enjoy these possibilities! 

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved – February 7, 2015

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Post Comments
Please Login to post a comment
Date: 11/1/2015 11:21:00 AM
This reminds me of something I once studied. An Eastern religion in which rebirth was determined by the moral choices of the individual, so apathetic rich rebirths as poverty, or an insect, etc. Buddhism? It would be interesting coming back as a woman, but it would have to be in the right culture.
Login to Reply
Bateman Avatar
Gary Bateman
Date: 11/2/2015 2:24:00 PM
Hello Rob, Thanks for your very intelligent note back here. Coming back as a woman as you noted, I agree might be interesting but only in the right culture. Given all the strife in the world today -- it does seem with some cultures in particular, groups of people are being harkened back to the times of the Middle Ages. Oh Joy!! Cheers, Gary
Date: 10/31/2015 11:10:00 AM
your pen has won the golden ticket on this write gary truly excellent piece pal
Login to Reply
Bateman Avatar
Gary Bateman
Date: 10/31/2015 1:25:00 PM
Liam Mate!! Thanks!! This one at least gives one some choices to look at and to consider. All in fun of course!! Cheers and Best, Gary
Date: 10/30/2015 8:00:00 AM
splendid``` great``` beautiful``` awesome and well expressed. As always, beautiful lines from a creative mind. Definitely a 7
Login to Reply
Bateman Avatar
Gary Bateman
Date: 10/30/2015 2:04:00 PM
Thanks so much Funom for your most gracious comments and for the top rating. (I hope you found "God's Return Ticket" to be humorous and ironic. That is the real intent of this particular write.) Best Wishes to you my good friend for the weekend!! Cheers, Gary
Date: 10/28/2015 8:07:00 PM
Hi G!A very beautiful poem,that you've penned here my dear friend Gary.Excellent piece!Beautifully written! Well done and like the way you go into each character to make your point, which makes your piece even more fun, n' appealing to read n' even imagine :) Well personally,I dont really believe in any of the reincarnation and evolution, but well,I know that many people in this world do.I truly believe that your poem here is great and very well done and so full of much imagination and fun,G.I like it.Many verses made me smile.Well, I already have read this poem before in your book which I am so happy to already have it in my personal possession.Great book!Just awesome!I love it.Golden pen!A 7 +!A fav.Sending love n' prayers to you and Ingrid.Just take very good care of each other now:)All the best to you always,G!Wishing you a very lovely weekend! In His light God bless you always!:)D
Login to Reply
Bateman Avatar
Gary Bateman
Date: 10/29/2015 8:34:00 AM
Hello Dear One "D" -- Thanks so much for your most wonderful and gracious comments here, and for the "TR" + "FAV." I always appreciate your reviews!! And thanks too very much for buying a copy of my recent book in which this poem, of course, appears!! I'm very pleased to see that you have captured the tongue-in-cheek humor I employed in this particular write. As I always say, "It time, every once in a while, to step back and laugh at ourselves!!" Continued Best Wishes from Ingrid and me!! "G"
Date: 10/28/2015 9:37:00 AM
Pythagoras, Plato, Socrates, all will be delighted with the poem mein freund Garry! Plato in his "Republic" tenth book, The Myth of Er , from 614 b onwards is dealing with reincarnation! I have written a poem " Eternal Recurrence" have a look! I love your poem and have enjoyed it! I am very much interested on the subject! A seven mein guter Freund!
Login to Reply
Bateman Avatar
Gary Bateman
Date: 10/28/2015 12:49:00 PM
Hallo Herr Professor!! Ich bedanke mich sehr Ihren Kommantar auf meinem Gedicht. Looks like I struck a definite nerve here with the likes of Pythagoras, Plato, and Socrates!! I really enjoyed doing this write. Just so you know, this particular poem appears on pages 58-61 in my book. I will take a look for sure at "Eternal Recurrence." I'm sure it will be your usual outstanding write Demetrios!! Cheers and Best, Gary
Date: 10/28/2015 5:53:00 AM
- Dear Gary, I think you've had a lot of smiles with writing this :) - My first choice: THE LION - An amazing animals I've always admired !!!! - A dog (man's best friend) must be my second choice :) - But one thing ..... boring and cold to go outside to pee and + :)))) - A wonderful poem for "my memory book" and of course tr. - Best wishes for a lovely day - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Login to Reply
Smile Avatar
Sunshine Smile
Date: 10/28/2015 6:12:00 AM
- Yes, I know it's in your book ..... but I can not write comment to you in the book :) - I remember this very well, we talked a lot about this topic after I read it the first time - I am open to believing in it :)
Bateman Avatar
Gary Bateman
Date: 10/28/2015 6:03:00 AM
Hello Dear Anne-Lise!! Thanks so much for your very gracious words (as always!!), and for the "TR." This is one of the poems from my first book that I just finally now posted to Poetry Soup. The print layout of this poem (in Poetry Soup) doesn't do it justice to how it appears in my book at pages 58-61. Yes, I did have some smiles in putting this one together. I like to be both irreverent and tongue-in-cheek at times. I'm very pleased you got some chuckles out of this one. Sometimes, each of us need to step away, look in the mirror, and laugh at ourselves as well. Laughter is soooooooooo important!! Cheers and Best, Gary
Date: 10/27/2015 10:41:00 AM
Hi, Gary. I bought a ticket to read this one. It's not at all what I expected, but then I guess you can't judge a write by it's title OR a book by it's cover. Some of these are really funny. I don't believe in reincarnation or evolution, but I do believe in resurrection. Thank goodness we'll return (if He thinks we deserve it) as we lived. Here's one to think about...A former woman returning as a man...sorry, that thought is beyond my comprehension. ;) ~ Lin ~
Login to Reply
Bateman Avatar
Gary Bateman
Date: 10/27/2015 11:00:00 AM
Thanks Lin for your great review and read here of "God's Return Ticket." I do appreciate where you're coming from for sure. My intent with this write was to approach certain topics from a tongue-in-cheek perspective and as a thought-piece in general. I'm pleased you managed to find some of the subject descriptions of a humorous nature. Best Wishes, Gary