Gibbous Moon In Rhyme and Free Verse

Two-word Lines       Free
with Rhyme            Verse

gibbous moon         The near-full moon—
ashen veil               its ashen light—
phantasm strewn     ghostly, swathing all
redolent pale           with pale glow.

shamed hues           In moonlight, colors surrender—
morbid face             faces are morbid, semblance
heedless muse         of those about to pass,
death’s embrace       abandoned by life's essence.

gibbous moon           Gibbous moon wanes, as 
night reviled             night warily gauges its retreat.
morning soon            And with advancing dawn,
newborn child.          new life replaces the departed.

Sorry, the program doesn't allow for setting up columns, so alignment on the second version of the is incorrect.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

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Dietrich Avatar
March 29, 2020 at 1:46 PM
was just clicking around and how funny what I found!! Feeding into what i said in "Soupmails to you today, look what I said back in 2013 about this contrast of styles: the free verse ones read better. that is because your rhymed lines are too short. This was a very interesting comparison study!!
Kamoonpuri Avatar
December 6, 2013 at 12:34 AM
As a lunarlover i totaly admired dis sublime moonlit poem, enchanting phrasing. Yeah i hav heard of d gibbous moon somewhere. I personaly like how u employd d veil term. Thanx poet.
Peterson Avatar
December 7, 2013 at 12:45 AM
Thank you sir. You honor me with your kind remarks. See you soon.
That Archaic Poet Avatar
November 20, 2013 at 11:52 AM
I had to look up the definition for "gibbous"; thanks for teaching me a new word while enjoying this great piece. I enjoy the juxtaposition. I do agree with Andrea: I wish the rhyming portion had more syllables, but it's still a stunning piece, nonetheless. Kudos, Mark :)
Peterson Avatar
December 2, 2013 at 1:16 AM
Thanks, Chan. The writing comes as it does, and I'm its helpless servant.
Lamoureux Avatar
November 18, 2013 at 8:39 AM
Try joining the lines of the rhyme with the free verse, it makes for an intresting read. I too prefer the free verse but both are well penned.
Peterson Avatar
November 18, 2013 at 9:06 AM
Thanks Richard. This two-word line with rhyme scheme isn't unprecedented, and I read some examples before posting to be certain that I wouldn't be branded as a heretic! Thanks for stopping by. Your remarks are welcome.
Dietrich Avatar
November 17, 2013 at 6:57 PM
the free verse ones read better. that is because your rhymed lines are too short. This was a very interesting comparison study!!
Peterson Avatar
November 17, 2013 at 7:18 PM
Thanks, Andrea. It's fun to test the extremes. However, I think I'll spare the soup any epic that might come to mind, which, thankfully, I've been spared. On the other side of the veil, perhaps.
Andresen Avatar
November 16, 2013 at 3:47 PM
- Both beautiful ... in separate form, Mark. - Have a great weekend. - oxox // Anne-Lise :)
Peterson Avatar
November 16, 2013 at 10:35 PM
Thanks for reading this Lise. You are so diligent, and I am so appreciative.
Virden Avatar
November 16, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Mark my friend, "Shamed hues In moonlight colors fade A poignant line! A beautiful poem dear one
Peterson Avatar
November 16, 2013 at 12:04 PM
Sarai, I'm blessed by the time you spent visiting and commenting so sweetly. I so appreciate your words. Much love.
A   Avatar
November 15, 2013 at 10:10 PM
Mark, thank you for the nice visit...:) thank you for sharing the strong reminiscence of the illuminating light., wishing you a brighter day... Wonderful/ epic poem... xox~ LINDA
Peterson Avatar
November 16, 2013 at 5:33 AM
Your visits are always the highlight of my day. So thanks dear Linda. .
Adams Avatar
November 15, 2013 at 10:06 PM
lovely and unique poem you have crafted here...enjoyed the read tonight :)
Peterson Avatar
November 16, 2013 at 5:35 AM
Sandra, your avatar is always a welcome sight, and your comments are ever precious to me. Thanks so much.
Gorelick Avatar
November 15, 2013 at 8:31 PM
I'd never heard that word before. Had to look it up..a gibbous poem. lol. Enjoyed. BG
Peterson Avatar
November 15, 2013 at 9:36 PM
Barbara, Thanks for visiting. Last night's gibbous moon inspired me to write whatever this is.
Carroll Avatar
November 15, 2013 at 7:02 PM
Hi Mark, Well crafted write..thanks for visiting my verse! Ken
Peterson Avatar
November 15, 2013 at 9:37 PM
Hi Ken, thanks for the nod.
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