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Gibbous Moon In Rhyme and Free Verse

Two-word Lines Free with Rhyme Verse gibbous moon The near-full moon— ashen veil its ashen light— phantasm strewn ghostly, swathing all redolent pale with pale glow. shamed hues In moonlight, colors surrender— morbid face faces are morbid, semblance heedless muse of those about to pass, death’s embrace abandoned by life's essence. gibbous moon Gibbous moon wanes, as night reviled night warily gauges its retreat. morning soon And with advancing dawn, newborn child. new life replaces the departed. Sorry, the program doesn't allow for setting up columns, so alignment on the second version of the is incorrect.

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Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/29/2020 1:46:00 PM

was just clicking around and how funny what I found!! Feeding into what i said in "Soupmails to you today, look what I said back in 2013 about this contrast of styles: the free verse ones read better. that is because your rhymed lines are too short. This was a very interesting comparison study!!

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri

Date: 12/6/2013 12:34:00 AM

As a lunarlover i totaly admired dis sublime moonlit poem, enchanting phrasing. Yeah i hav heard of d gibbous moon somewhere. I personaly like how u employd d veil term. Thanx poet.

Mark Peterson
Date: 12/7/2013 12:45:00 AM

Thank you sir. You honor me with your kind remarks. See you soon.

Just That Archaic Poet

Date: 11/20/2013 11:52:00 AM

I had to look up the definition for "gibbous"; thanks for teaching me a new word while enjoying this great piece. I enjoy the juxtaposition. I do agree with Andrea: I wish the rhyming portion had more syllables, but it's still a stunning piece, nonetheless. Kudos, Mark :)

Mark Peterson
Date: 12/2/2013 1:16:00 AM

Thanks, Chan. The writing comes as it does, and I'm its helpless servant.

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 11/18/2013 8:39:00 AM

Try joining the lines of the rhyme with the free verse, it makes for an intresting read. I too prefer the free verse but both are well penned.

Mark Peterson
Date: 11/18/2013 9:06:00 AM

Thanks Richard. This two-word line with rhyme scheme isn't unprecedented, and I read some examples before posting to be certain that I wouldn't be branded as a heretic! Thanks for stopping by. Your remarks are welcome.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/17/2013 6:57:00 PM

the free verse ones read better. that is because your rhymed lines are too short. This was a very interesting comparison study!!

Mark Peterson
Date: 11/17/2013 7:18:00 PM

Thanks, Andrea. It's fun to test the extremes. However, I think I'll spare the soup any epic that might come to mind, which, thankfully, I've been spared. On the other side of the veil, perhaps.

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 11/16/2013 3:47:00 PM

- Both beautiful ... in separate form, Mark. - Have a great weekend. - oxox // Anne-Lise :)

Mark Peterson
Date: 11/16/2013 10:35:00 PM

Thanks for reading this Lise. You are so diligent, and I am so appreciative.

Sarai Virden

Date: 11/16/2013 11:00:00 AM

Mark my friend, "Shamed hues In moonlight colors fade A poignant line! A beautiful poem dear one

Mark Peterson
Date: 11/16/2013 12:04:00 PM

Sarai, I'm blessed by the time you spent visiting and commenting so sweetly. I so appreciate your words. Much love.

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 11/15/2013 10:10:00 PM

Mark, thank you for the nice visit...:) thank you for sharing the strong reminiscence of the illuminating light., wishing you a brighter day... Wonderful/ epic poem... xox~ LINDA

Mark Peterson
Date: 11/16/2013 5:33:00 AM

Your visits are always the highlight of my day. So thanks dear Linda. .