Fourteen Feels Like Falling

I turned fourteen, the world turned cold, The light I knew felt strange, controlled. They said these years would shape my soul— But all I feel is lost and old. I used to laugh, just ‘cause I could, Run wild in every neighborhood. Now I just scroll, or lie awake, Pretending none of this can break. The mirror’s cruel, my thoughts are loud, I shrink beneath an unseen cloud. A thousand voices in my head, Some scream, some whisper, all see red. They say, “You’re young, you’ve got the time,” But why does breathing feel like crime? Why does the morning taste like rust? Why do I find it hard to trust? Friends drift off like mist at dawn, No goodbye, just gone is gone. And those who stay don’t see me whole— They joke around, ignore my soul. School’s a blur of stress and shame, Trying hard to play the game. Smiles are masks, and grades are chains, And no one cares about the pain. I see their lives online each night— Perfect faces, filtered light. They’re laughing loud while I feel small, Like I don’t really count at all. They don’t know how it feels inside— This heaviness I cannot hide. I fake the “fine,” I nod, I try, But part of me just wants to cry. I miss the kid I used to be— The one who ran, the one who dreamed. Now I just wish to disappear, Or scream so loud that someone hears. But still I write, and still I speak, Even when I’m feeling weak. And maybe that’s the strongest part— Still standing with a shattered heart. If you’re fourteen and feel this way, Like joy’s a game you just can’t play— I want you to know you’re not alone. We’re out here too, just barely grown. It’s okay to not be okay, To hate the world some nights, some days. But don’t give up, don’t dim your spark— Even stars are born in dark.