Get Your Premium Membership

Four Stages of Fire

1. INCIPIENT the smell of burning body helps me sleep at night i'd rather ignite this spark in my stomach than shove bread down my throat singe this hollow home choke these lungs with bone dry soil so nothing can grow and maybe they brainwashed me or i did it to myself but all of my dreams lead to being skin and bones the humming of crackling wood whispers "starve" i listen the humming of crackling body whispers "this is all your fault" 2. GROWTH this skin is getting too hot to live in i, the embodiment of a fire breathing dragon i hunch over choke on second hand smoke and misconceptions there are so many ways to feed into desperate too many ways to swallow yourself whole i let this esophagus sizzle and cry i lie arms spread naked on the bathroom floor catching my breath a slab of meat thrown onto a cackling grill fatty and full of blood sized up and bitten into violated by my own opinions of beautiful where bitter where acidic where a dysmorphic enemy does not linger nibbling at my tonsils 3. FULLY DEVELOPED i am engulfed in flames these charred hands stain my body with words like "bony" like "thin" like "sick" this flesh can't escape the freezing creeping up on my being the trembling of limbs the chattering of teeth is a physical trophy "congratulations!" you are one flicker away from broken winter almost melts me christmas and thanksgiving piles of food fresh like flesh mocking me rotting in front of me a mirror image of my organs and intestines abandoned and squeezed some sort of puzzle pieces twisting and breaking i sit quietly they ask "aren't you hungry?" i don't tell them that it is too late for this fire to be put out or how often i dream of drowning 4. DECAY a guilty arsonist i toss my lights and my matches sweep up the ashes what is left of my home and i start building i blow out the candles shove my hands into the wreckage and chew it up i won't spit it out this time i fill myself up i introduce myself to my reflection say, "hello. i am healthy" say, "i've missed you" a phoenix flies over a body she burned a city she burned a world that she burned says "go. go find out what happiness tastes like"

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 12/31/2018 2:27:00 AM
Brilliant depiction of a Self's destructive urges and the struggle to rise above it all, in victory. You have self awareness, and that will help you. I appreciate your honesty. A "secret revealed" has less power over one. Your poetry is dynamic, well constructed, intelligent and understandable. That bright and beautiful indestructible spirit is alive! I feel for you a lot. ( I have a family member with an eating disorder, so I do understand...) Warm regards. AM.
Login to Reply
Date: 12/21/2018 7:57:00 AM
Stella, this is a remarkable poem due to entice anyone with pyromaniac tendencies, eating disorders or just a love to see words dance (I'm in the latter group). The darkness is contrasted by your ability to find light. Love it!
Login to Reply
Date: 12/20/2018 4:45:00 PM
A sensual feast; dark, a black bite, ooow
Login to Reply
Date: 12/18/2018 7:40:00 PM
You're very talented, and this was a very intriguing write, amazing stuff, keep writing
Login to Reply
Date: 12/13/2018 10:58:00 AM
Login to Reply
Date: 12/10/2018 8:10:00 PM
This has appealed to every single pore in my pyromaniac mind and imagination. I adore fire, love fire, am fascinated with fire, and wish I would have thought to have figured out a way to write it up in such a terrific stage of development. But you have done it, so now I can tick it off my "to do" list, for it has been done in a WONDERFUL way. Kudos Stella!
Login to Reply