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For the First Time In Years I Was Me

A classmate was murdered. So I threw away my colors. Because she was colorful, and shiny. Dazzling, radiant. If they were murdering yellows, reds and pinks. I wanted to be grayscale, covert, hidden. Nonaccessible. I released the colors I loved. I threw away my favorite – orange. I lived for several years without colors. My life was bland; I was fearful, and tame. Too tame; sadly depressed. Living in cobwebbed corners, hiding in fear. One day I attended a seminar put on by two women. They were dazzling, radiant, and shiny, like the murdered girl. They had not been murdered, and they were……….joyful. Optimistic, hopeful, excited, enthusiastic. I left the seminar at noon and slept four hours. I was exhausted, trying to process this revelation. When I woke up, I began throwing oranges and reds around the room. I added yellows, purples and greens. Following my bliss was a giant relief. I crawled out of the corners and began to live. For the first time in years; I was me. Rejoicing!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022




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Date: 1/19/2022 2:34:00 PM
Yes! you did it! Good for you. Color your world any color you want, after all it is your reality. Good write, Caren. Very encouraging to me, Bill
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 1/19/2022 10:49:00 PM
Thank you Bill. Do it!
Date: 1/19/2022 9:47:00 AM
And we are all the better for having the me that is you back
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 1/19/2022 10:50:00 PM
Thank you John. It is a relief to be yourself. Or myself.
Date: 1/19/2022 9:07:00 AM
That was quite an awakening, and a good one! I liked "Following my bliss was a giant relief." So true!
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Caren Krutsinger
Date: 1/19/2022 10:50:00 PM
I tell my students "figure out a career based on what you LOVE to do, because you spend a lot of time doing a career!"

Book: Shattered Sighs