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Any rhyme found in this mish mosh is purely accidental. The writer takes no responsibility for such atrocities. Any logic found here is coincidental. Any imagery or appreciated thoughts is completely the fault of the reader. Nothing poetic was placed here by the writer. If you find anything redeeming I mean anything at all redeeming in this aboration of what should be poetry then your my type of person. You should promptly get naked message me and we can have cybersex. This excludes Arthur. For the last time Arthur I only like women I don't care how cute you say your ass is. This concludes this message. Remember ladies I am really, really, lonely so write me. You know, it's Christmas, I'm not too proud to accept a pity SoupMail. Try me I come in 32 delicious flavors.


She dresses the land down in a virginal bridal gown  a masterfully cut and sewn chenille  shines brightly with a fine crystal appeal Her assistants work quite diligently to add special touches and then flee they decorated the mountain peaks  using all their white glitter techniques  beat beat beat beat pause  one small step to the side As an observer... your feet quake in their shoes your body heat quits without notice your nerve endings are on edge your common sense walks out the door  listen A little girl tells her mother " Mom look big, fat, snowflakes" they are Brave  you look out at winter unmoved she looks right back at you with a chilling icy stare  freezes the turkey in the oven - to the bone. she exhales a wispy sigh by her royal blue decree a below zero degree. she is brutal, my oh my! beat beat beat  pause another step to the side Back to all the children lean Back to younger than nineteen Back to those in their twenties Those were my best years, twenties Back to men and women below fifty don't know why but they look happy Skates are sharpened Skis brought out of storage You can hear the sound of coats,  Zippers being pulled to up above the neck Sounds of thick socks and scarfs  walking out of cedar drawers. Toboggans racing down hills Kids right behind them wondering why their sliding on their own butts Trying to catch their brand new ride. Snowboarders execute their killer moves no judge no jury it's all 'bout the grooves beat  pause here's where this poem  steers off the beaten path  so hold your breath beat beat beat          beat beat here we go  with the flow Winter has arrived,  beat oh sh~t here we go My God  Winter  Has Arrived This woman is far from shy She with that dry ice heart  That woman will cut you open With the chill of her breath That's right Dorothy  were not in Kansas anymore  This Witch is East, West, North, South WICKED! We're not even in Oz this Witch is spelled with a  B and she's got a hell of an itch, if you catch my drift I preferred her father he was kind compared to her since she took his place minus forty is a warm day she dresses in winter white but the Grinches  coal black heart at least had some life in it, this women is down the toilet with her potty mouth her heart is frozen solid Dead! Bad! and Beyond! With her there is no such thing as a thaw even her brother was occasionally warm Not her she'll shrink your willy  from ten to two inches long (who the heck is willy, should we free him?) Don't test her she is far from tame She'll freeze your flesh, use your frozen balls as ice cubes for her one hundred and forty proof vodka. Laugh in your face as she downs her drink. Then gargle with your family jewels. Ever notice how you never see the Devil  at the peak of winter, even he fears her She froze off the tip off one of his horns When they were kids and not a thing he could do She's family - hands off - if you know what I mean There has to be honor in a house of thieves Winter is here and it's frikkin cold she'll drop six feet of the white sh~t in a single go hhhhang onnnn back to some sanity let's end this with some bullsh~t poetic beauty Did I mention Ontario's Niagara On The Lake Did I mention Ice Wine and tasty Frosted Cake hang on to your pants beat beat beat beat beat beat here goes During the christmas holidays you  have to go to the Falls, what a venue Niagara Falls itself is quite amazing The powerful lights they shine blazing Against the thundering waters rushing Like the results of an artist's airbrushing The Festival of Lights is also worth perusing  It is a path you follow in your car just cruising We follow it up with Montreal every year It is a long tiring ride but we're finally here It's a New Year - all the land is aglow Voices of children playing in the snow  Sculptures for the festivities come to life Lights shine- with colors bright - people rife With enthusiasm for The Festival Of Ice A family event in this winter paradise beat beat beat once last walk  on the wwwwwwild sssssssside A Winter Paradise? pahh! The B~~ch  gargled with  Your Gonads in her mouth She used them as ice cubes Who DOES that? Yes this is a chilling ending  but an ending all the same you all come back now you hear? The End! beat beat  and now the refrain beat Come on Manuel it's back to the igloo with us. (Now why did I say that in my John Cleese  Voice.There's Something Faulty  there. The man Towers above me) No Senior this winter thing She is not working out for me You stay if you like, I am visiting my friend in Malta... ...Paul Callus! 12~23~2014 Sponsor: Sheri Fresonke Harper Contest Name: Rock Me Around the Clock or Rock Me to Sleep--Rhythm Poems

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

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Date: 2/20/2015 4:42:00 PM
Maurice.. On the floor, you sir are a riot! This work was such a WINNER!
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Date: 2/16/2015 12:07:00 AM
Maurice, Nice Rock me around the clock win. ~Skat~
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Date: 2/14/2015 12:30:00 PM
Congrats on your well deserved win in this contest...Happy val's day...
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Date: 2/14/2015 9:38:00 AM
Congratulations on your win,Maurice,a 7 Blessings and Happy Valentine’s Day Eve
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Date: 2/13/2015 7:59:00 PM
LOL that was one hades of a rip! LOL Congrad's on Your Win Light & Love
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Date: 2/13/2015 9:35:00 AM
Oh Armand I sit here with tears of laughter rolling down my face re reading this epic poem - many congrats in the contest hugs jan xxx
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Date: 12/23/2014 5:10:00 PM
Maurice...did somebody say that you rock!!! Read this entertaining poem more than once (introduction an' all) and boy, are my hands and feet cold!! Very descriptive, witty and imaginative. Well done...great entry for this contest. Malta will welcome you with open arms; at the moments sunshine prevails, but now we have changed to long sleeves...we too have a winter:), but nothing like yours!!! Cheers! // paul
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Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 12/23/2014 5:15:00 PM
...a 7 rating...and a fav
Date: 12/23/2014 4:55:00 PM
Hey Maybe We could swap weathers for sometime... Im dying for a bit of that bitc*y winter : )and wish so much to do snow angels Maurice : ) . A favourite..Not again ? : )Yep!
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Date: 12/23/2014 3:55:00 PM
HAHA! You are brilliant my friend, and your authors notes, I'm laughing so much right now. You are such a great entertainer! love your style my friend.! xxx
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Date: 12/23/2014 2:25:00 PM
loved the write my friend incredibly vivid imagery and lots of references to films .. by the way - i didnt know Paul was on holiday ... he lives in Malta lol:-) hugs Jan xx
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Date: 12/23/2014 2:43:00 PM
ha ha ha - my Spanish eyes were deceiving me! hugs jan xxx
Yvonne Avatar
Maurice Yvonne
Date: 12/23/2014 2:34:00 PM
Of course he does what's your point?
Date: 12/23/2014 10:08:00 AM
and I agree with richard, your top commentary was also hilarious.
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Date: 12/23/2014 10:07:00 AM
hahaha, it was for Rock around the clock. that was GREAT way to do that strange contest. I was wondering what had inspired this!!My own poem for that challenge is waiting in the wings till I hopefully get people to read my last posts!! I also love the title of this one and how you related it to the ending of the poem. Lucky Paul to be in spain. I would love being there right now. Is it a really super cold winter where you are? Did that help inspire this one too? Merry christmas, Maurice. 7!
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Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 12/23/2014 5:13:00 PM
Hi Andrea...Paul IS in Malta...but there is a town/village called Callus in Spain (seems that my surname is derived from there, though others insist that it's Roman!)
Date: 12/23/2014 8:27:00 AM
You Rock Maurice, I also love the commentary on top!
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Date: 12/23/2014 8:22:00 AM
7!! Cheers, Maurice, I truly got involved in your flow of words. It was a roller coaster ride. Blessings and Mary Christmas
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