Flying Tourist Class In Seat 34b

With my usual paucity of luck I was assigned to seat 34B. I wanted to be left in peace but as you see, 'twas not to be. The urchin sittin' behind me pitched a screamin' fit! He kicked the back of my seat and his mom cared not a whit! I got so angry that I could have thrown rocks at a hearse, But as time flew on (so to speak) things got even worse. The little old lady on my left babbled about her back operation. The sot on my right snored in my ear without cessation. He had bladder problems that caused him to climb over me, To relieve himself of used beer in the restroom constantly! The guy in front of me adjusted his seat creatin' a very small gap, And in doin' so spilled my coffee from the tray all over my lap! Sporadically, an inconsiderate, ill-bred jerk released odious gas. I think next time I'll spend a few more bucks and travel first-class! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired