Fixated Freefall

Falling away, Away from your embrace Day by day, Washing away my face In the mirror before me... I ran the race with determination and fury... I took the correction that God had in mind for me all along...but yet, I still wandering around, wondering where you've been... It's shown by the beads of sweat I excrete with pride It's shown by the tears I've cried...the pain I bask in And the giving-up feeling I hide Doubt drowns my sky high spirit that let out rays of the sun during joyous days Optimism orgasms fulfill my inner being... Pessimism's prism follows me around...illuminati signs are left unseeing... Because I used to see them all around me - the eyes, the shapes, the vile hatred that's masked with happy dread That's enough!! Life can be so tough... Satan has ruined most of me But, not all of me, I see So fixated on my free falls and downfalls along with it Too tired to think or feel or speak in this perilous pit You think I'm attractive In my pain that's active? Do you think me interactive When I yearn for your ears that are keen and attentive You can't see these tears... I shed You can't mend these years... We had We can change our future Instead... Your words hurt me future... I'm sad I'm mad I'm glad I'm rad I'm bad You're the best thing I never had I can't deny I'm the best thing you never had no doubt added What's the difference between you and I? I'm stronger than I realize...that saying is underrated and I'm glad I landed... On my two feet on thin ice Roaming around like field mice... Trying to avoid being in your paws That will end up in your mouth and jaws Devoured like a dinner plate shatters due to mere gravity You will never understand this dilemma I've gone through sadly Just stop... Being so fixated on me and my downfalls Can't stop... The Drop | V That lands into your hands, an aftershock of my countless free falls I have gave in to failure I have given up success No more mister wimpy, loser guy, championship is miles apart from me No more mister know-it-all, prideful confidence from me anymore...I see... Just Helplessly, Hopelessly... Fixated on my free falls Still Waiting oh so hopefully To be accepted in your halls Of jadedless paradise In your arms is where I belong I am the island's sand and sun in your shiny sea eyes You're the wilderness on the island...the palm trees swaying to and fro...among... The other wild jaguars that wildly swarm Around 3 innocent monkeys that has done more help than harm You, in your heroic bravery mode, saves the poor fellows... But the predators of the jungle attacked you so...they murdered you and ate you up until you were remains of reds, greens, blues and yellows You sacrificed yourself RIP, friend from the start In fact, I, myself, Is like you, an abstract abyss art That was flushed down the toilet... A fixated free fall with ever-sighing regret It wasn't our fault it happened... Now, we lay in our watery bed We are small, but significant and mighty like puny mice... That barely survived a traumatic experience - rapidly running away from the cat that is hungry and not-so-nice Venture into my world of mirrored distress Graze in my maze of an attitude of gratitude and eustress You're my lullaby before i fall asleep in your arms Your charming ways got me under your spectacular spell of enchanting charms Darkness consumes When you assume The worst of me blooms Blooms dire doom I shed my Crimson Blood All for your name's sake Pull down your hood, bud Just give me a break...before I break... Push on the brake before you crash into me Fixated on our freefalls of blasphemed fantasy Stars are scarlet with your scar lit in the skies of goodbye's Scars never mend when this is the end...couch-ridden and going through my bipolar highs Then...a crash from the helicopter flight I can't stop loving you and I won't stop doing so till the sun kissed a farewell to the midnight Smoking the cigarette of regret... Trying to light up the shadows in hiding Provoking me to fury and jumping off cliffs of colliding cares before I get ensnared by corruption's net Catastrophes grow like weeds in this town of terror I fell in love with disbelief I fear your anger and your resentment-painted picture I shatter like glass grief... Shower Me With Brief Relief Please... Put my cranium At ease Before I get consumed by numb and dumb shame...marinated in rebellion's rum...dominated by fooldumb I still have the bizarre devil horns above my crooked halo I'm still that troll fairy, hovering around you The wicked wind blew me to you just so that you know I'm still your darling devil from the first time I met till I live no more...for, I'll be always sick with the love flu