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Finding Laughter In Lockdown

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I can’t see my dentist and I’ve got dire halitosis, with distancing I hope that nobody will notice! When we're outdoors we must keep 2 meters apart, this suits me fine when I drop a huge smelly fart! At the supermarket there’s an enormous queue, I hope the queue's much shorter for the ladies loo! Bert's eating through his large pasta mountain he stockpiled so much of that there’s no doubtin! Bert’s barber’s closed, now he resembles a yeti, entangled in his beard is meat and spaghetti! Fred’s wife made him a mask from her old bra, She’s 46 double d, I think she’s gone a little too far! I’m fed up of constant repeats on the tv especially as I pay a huge tv licence fee! Sal's so sad she can't go to the gym she now has 'sexercise' thrice daily with Jim Jim's delighted with this state of play He's praying for the lockdown to stay! 05/07/20

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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders

Date: 6/2/2020 9:37:00 PM

Thanks for the laugh, Jan! We need to laugh now more than ever :) Rhonda xx

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2020 3:01:00 AM

Most definitely Rhonda, so much stress in our lives we need a giggle to break the cycle and laughter is so good for you:-) hugs Jan xx

Frances Schiavina

Date: 5/13/2020 7:44:00 AM

Congratulations Jan! Contest or not your poem is a winner. You light up pain with laughter.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/13/2020 8:02:00 AM

It's just a fun poem not for any contest, I was just delighted to get potd which meant the poem got more widespread coverage on the site:-) hugs Jan xx

Old Buck

Date: 5/11/2020 12:12:00 PM

Whenever the Soup sends me a listing of Top Stuff, I always quickly scan for any Allison. I'm never disappointed. Thanks again for sharing your works of wit with all of us on the soup. Keep them coming. oldbuck

Jan Allison
Date: 5/11/2020 12:33:00 PM

Thanks so much Old Buck, getting poem of the day for this one made my day, I just try to make folk smile if I can:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 5/10/2020 5:58:00 PM

LOL this smile will stick to my face all through the night, jan :) Congratulations re POTD. Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 5/10/2020 7:15:00 PM

Thanks Paul got to try and smile during these difficult days, love to you all Jan xx

John Watt

Date: 5/10/2020 2:16:00 PM

Congrats on POTD to the Lady of Laughter, the Sovereign of Smiles, the Chairwoman of chuckles. Love the laughing baby pic and all the quarantine humor. Thanks for bringing giggles to so many, dear Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/10/2020 2:33:00 PM

Thanks for the plaudits John I accept those names with great pride and will add them to my title of Queen of poop :-) hugs Jan xx

Rob Carmack

Date: 5/10/2020 11:31:00 AM

You got me at 'double d'. Congrats on POTD. Hugs cupped.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/10/2020 2:31:00 PM

It was such fun to write Rob, thanks for dropping by:-) hugs Jan xx

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 5/10/2020 11:29:00 AM

Congratulation Jan, this is an absolute hoot - I really got the giggles, such excellent humor - well done, a huge honor bestowed on you! Blessings and hugs, Jennifer.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/10/2020 2:30:00 PM

Thanks Jennifer I try and find humour even at the most challenging times of like we are all in at the moment. If I can make folk smile that's the most important thing:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

Date: 5/9/2020 11:34:00 PM

Hey, eye need new glasses! Eye can't see your dent'st e'ther! lol. Congrats on POTD, my fr'end! ~ gw

Jan Allison
Date: 5/10/2020 5:47:00 AM

lol thanks GW:-) hugs Jan xx

Jc Hawkens

Date: 5/9/2020 10:03:00 AM

Congratulations on your POTD. As always beautiful to read your Poetry. "This the highlight of any morning for me. Sincerly JC Hawkens Hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2020 10:28:00 AM

Thanks for the lovely comment JC, just try and bring a smile especially at the moment when life is so difficult for many:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin

Date: 5/9/2020 5:35:00 AM

Back to congratulate you on POTD Jan! hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2020 5:36:00 AM

Thanks Tania and again apologies for missing your contest I didn't even see it it closed so fast!:-) hugs jan xx

Warren Doll

Date: 5/8/2020 10:09:00 PM

Leave it to you to find laughs in this terrible time. Jan, thanks for making my day. Congratulations on POTD. Warmest Wishes~ Warren

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2020 5:10:00 AM

Thanks for the lovely comment Warren, so glad I got POTD and more people are reading the poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 5/8/2020 7:31:00 PM

OMG, I love this Jan. " I’m fed up of constant repeats on the tv especially as I pay a huge tv licence fee!" I so agree! Your ending makes this a classic. A Fave! Congratulations on POTD! We all need the humor! xxoo

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2020 5:10:00 AM

Thanks Connie I am so delighted with the comments and getting potd, glad to make folk smile:-) hugs Jan xx

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 5/8/2020 2:06:00 PM

Congratulations on your POTD win. You made me laugh. So funny. I think funny is what people need. Have a wonderful weekend with your win..............

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:33:00 PM

Thanks Paula if I can make folk smile that is the most important thing, life is so difficult for many at the moment just trying to lighten the mood a little:-) hugs Jan xx

Sam Kauffman

Date: 5/8/2020 11:32:00 AM

Hilarious! We can all relate - especially the repeat tv shows and commercials. Love your ending. Congratulations on your POTD!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:32:00 PM

Thanks Sam it was fun to write ... just trying to lighten the mood a little with some silly thoughts:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 5/8/2020 9:54:00 AM

hahaha, congratulations on POTD. Hugs Eve

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:31:00 PM

Thanks so much Eve:-) :-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 5/8/2020 9:01:00 AM

Congratulations on POTD, my very funny friend, who writes about fannies and such!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:31:00 PM

a fanny in Britain has a totally different meaning to that in the US lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Maureen McGreavy The Insolent Rib

Date: 5/8/2020 9:00:00 AM

HUZZAH!!! Back with Congrats Lovely! xomo <3

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:30:00 PM

thanks Mo:-) :-) hugs Jan xx

Winged Warrior

Date: 5/8/2020 7:33:00 AM

Congrats!! Jan On POTD!!...always yucking it up...god bless you...best wishes and hugs :o)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:30:00 PM

Thanks so much for dropping by ^WW^:-) :-) hugs Jan xx

Vijay Pandit

Date: 5/8/2020 7:12:00 AM

Congrats Jan on poem of the day--everyone needs a laugh in these difficult times.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:29:00 PM

most definitely Vijay!:-) hugs Jan xx

Arturo Michael

Date: 5/8/2020 7:00:00 AM

This is good stuff, different scenes, can be made super fun...Congratulations Jan on POTD... Keep safe

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:29:00 PM

Thanks Arturo just a silly poem during such difficult times - a little humour goes a long way:-) hugs Jan xx

John Gondolf

Date: 5/8/2020 6:54:00 AM

Enjoyed the humor this morning, Jan, congrats on POTD. John

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:28:00 PM

thanks for dropping by John:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 5/8/2020 6:30:00 AM

HAha.. Because Fred's mask was a double D, Fred wasn't able to see, so he called Jim and Sal, and they became such pals, They're having threesomes daily!..... Congrats on POTD Jan..

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:28:00 PM

Thanks Joseph i am so delighted I was able to bring a few smiles with my silliness:-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Koplin

Date: 5/8/2020 5:42:00 AM

Congrats on POTD my friend! Once again you have a fantastic work of art here. Great Job!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 5:49:00 AM

Thanks so much Mark I am so delighted the poem is getting a little more exposure with POTD honours, if I can make folk smile that's the important thing:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 5/8/2020 2:17:00 AM

Nice one Jan, back with congratulations on POTD. Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 3:07:00 AM

Oh wow thanks for the good news Tom I hope the poem gets a few more reads and comments because of the honour and makes folk smile at such a difficult time:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 5/8/2020 1:11:00 AM

G'day Jan … that's why I say thank God for poetrysoup, a great outlet to read something new and to keep in contact with like minded poets. Your verse does give me what is missing what we took for granted - thank you Jan - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2020 3:06:00 AM

Just trying to make folk smile - thank goodness for humourous poets like you and Ilene who always makes me smile:-) hugs jan xx