Doctor, it's been 7 months 
The MEDs aren't kicking in

My dreams are getting stronger, 
The blood remains to run code red
It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed 
Dark images keep taking place inside my head 
The voices - The voices, are not all right!

I no longer lay laughing 
The screaming never stops
In irons,  my mind rattles 
Theses thoughts are all I got
In slow motion, my mind plans the perfect plot

Finally, I realize the sanity of this is perfect
Counting every single second on the clock 
At first, I could not breathe 
I felt, I was left alone, 
Broken down --- Incomplete  
In your eyes, the schizophrenia spoke loud
In my eyes, everything is dark and gray

Doctor, now listen closely, open your eyes
While the walls slowly close in on you
I have my hands around your neck
Finally, I feel my arms, the needles are gone

Finally, I realize the sanity of this is perfect
The tightening of the chest is clearing
Today I possess a little more than yesterday 
Knowing exactly what needs to be done.

Was it all for nothing, the bloody wrist?
The faucet constantly dripping every night
The voices I call my friends

Deep, deep down,  
I'm still a child, painting  bedroom walls
Setting fires after my mother's death 
A crazy peril in its most threatening state

Doc, here you are again,
No longer will I allow you to waste my time
With your fetish lies, trying to make me better 
The problem is not me, it was always you!
Painting pink butterflies and white skies

Finally, I realize the sanity of this is perfect
Don't you understand  she's dead!
Pills aren't going to bring her back 
Padded rooms aren't going to help me,
Help myself --- grieve  the proper  way!
Straitjackets aren't going to restrain me, 
--- from wanting to hurt badly!
Psychologically, I'm perfectly sane 
Expressing my emotions a different way.

Doctor, you're not saying nothing 
You're not moving, 
You're just sitting there pretending to care.
Doc, I hope you aren't mad?
The voices explained it had to end this way
How else could I make you listen?

Finally, the impulse is gone 
Finally, I'm going to be alright 

       by: Pd

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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Date: 9/8/2016 2:28:00 AM
I could feel the pain and frustration. I was a health care provider all my working life so you could have been talking directly to me.
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Date: 6/29/2016 12:45:00 AM
Really a wonderful piece with an emotion I certainly can recognize.
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Date: 4/2/2016 7:47:00 AM
Nice creation Linda. Superb.....hugs
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Date: 2/16/2016 8:51:00 PM
Hi Linda, the emotions are so strong in this right, as i read my emotions are heightened beyond what i should allow actually. I do feel such a deep sadness while reading this write Linda. The write itself is excellent beyond a doubt. This is definitely a Linda write. This is a seven for sure. Always be who you are Linda. This is such a powerful write Linda....Vlad.
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Date: 12/17/2015 3:46:00 AM
lines with curves of wisdom and landscapes of awe! My mind is in a park of joy to how I manage selecting this page. Keep on writing dear poet and as always, a wonderful 7 without a doubt!
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Date: 10/14/2015 10:06:00 PM
one of my fav's from you. SIS
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Date: 10/14/2015 10:13:00 AM
Hey Linda, a warm and hearty congratulations on your poem's winning placement in BW's contest! Great imagery and depicting subtle madness. Excellent writing. Be Blessed, Neva
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Date: 10/12/2015 1:13:00 PM
Oh, PD, what incredible imagery. I could feel the psychosis. Kept me enthralled.
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Date: 10/12/2015 12:54:00 PM
An emotional monologue! Congats Poet! Love, Balveen
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Date: 10/12/2015 3:14:00 AM
Congrats on a wonderful win Linda, lovely expressions! Wonder how such a beautiful poem got trashed in any contest?
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Date: 10/11/2015 10:20:00 PM
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Date: 10/11/2015 4:23:00 PM
Nice win! PDA!
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Date: 10/11/2015 3:03:00 PM
Very moving, Linda. Congratulations on getting the well-deserved win that it should have received before! Hugs, Sandra
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Date: 10/11/2015 2:56:00 PM
powerful and so moving linda congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx
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Date: 10/11/2015 12:12:00 PM
You never write a poem that doesn't grab the reader with emotion! Once again, a winner, and should have been recognized the first time as more than exceptional! Congrats to you, PD !
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Date: 10/8/2015 10:46:00 PM
This is very good, it reminds me of Sylvia Plath. I just want you to remember that we are all soul and are connected to God who cannot be parted from us. Look for the light and sleep well. Colin
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Date: 10/6/2015 4:59:00 PM
This is so different from work I read of yours a while back. Something seems to have happened to you to bring you to the edge of darkness. If not, and in any case, I am blown away by your range and imagination.
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Date: 10/1/2015 7:53:00 PM
But anyway I'm sore so I'm going to take a nice hot bath than continue to catch up on the comments I'm so far behind on, be back soon cheri
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Date: 10/1/2015 7:52:00 PM
Dear Linda My sister of the heart you asked for a haunted bloody mary, so I gave it to you lol I just looked up the legend and went for it Yes I've heard of the name, but had no idea of the story of bloody mary believe it or not. So you think I did her legend justice, or what, the images just started to come to me, sometimes they just flow so freely, I just go for it, thanks for your review of bloody mary, and I have a few legends that haunt me also don't think I don't, cheri
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Date: 10/1/2015 6:19:00 PM
Hi Linda! Wow! What a journey of emotion....every line filled with flashbacks and struggle...the release at the end was welcome! jimbo
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Date: 9/29/2015 8:49:00 PM
A walk into the inner sanctum to find the way back out. A solemn soulful journey is what it's all about. Your style divides and then derides associative communing. Until your voice is finally heard with a new age fine line tuning. Love your poem Linda.
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Date: 9/29/2015 8:17:00 PM
Quite expressive. You've certainly captured the schizo spirit. : )
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Date: 9/28/2015 1:08:00 PM
I perused twice, as I can't believe I my comment does not appear on this page. I'm positive I left on the first day you posted this! :-( . Nevertheless, let me say again that I'm bowled over by the sharp and clear imagery, it indeed has a disturbing effect. Not enough to repel, though. There is human touch in how you depicted the victim's harrowing experience. Awesome write! hugs!
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Date: 9/28/2015 9:08:00 AM
Oh my.. This is great Linda.. It's sad that this is one of those things that most people don't ever talk about for fear of being labeled. I enjoyed reading this indeed. Keep up the good work. Connie!!!
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Date: 9/28/2015 6:56:00 AM
Hi Linda. I have seen this happen before, when the mental health industry thinks they know what is best for their patient. Sometimes they need a dose of their own medicine. This poem speaks from the wisdom of one who knows and it was a pleasure to read, my friend.... Robert.
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