Feeling Abated

I admit these times around i feel highly abated. I walk around school tired because i lose sleep and i hate it. I roll onto my back every night losing hours n hours of sleep. I promise my body i'll rest it, but dats a promise i dnt keep. I try so hard all the time to stay calm,but I fell dangerously irritated. I'm irritated get out of my face plz my space is getting invaded! My will power is starting to fail, succumb,deplete, diminish. I'm on a breath-taking journey to live my life, but i can't help feeling that I won't finish. Being a man means admitting that you need help and u need it fast. I'm feeling abated can't u see it's not long that I can even last. Watching my friend die I felt so enraged I wish me and Him{Almighty} could fight. I confided my father w/ this, he thought me wrong, I thought me right. Do sins catch up 2 u to da point you applaud yourself every morning you awake? Or am I coming to grips w/ my alter-ego that religion is fake? Let's not get carried away before u say or do something you'll regret. You think you feel abated, u only 17, u aint seen nothin yet. It's all good, because I survive by keeping a higher hunger. Like Kanye said: "What doesn't kill me can only make me stronger."