Feathered Kerfuffle

My parrot loves to squawk and talk but even more than that it barks just like our doggies and meows just like a cat. It loves to whistle many tunes so loud it’s quite absurd especially when you’re on the phone so you can’t hear a word. I'd like to gag the pesky thing so it could never speak. but cannot find a gag so small it fits around its beak. We have to sit and bear the noise of shrieking in our ear, unless of course we let him out and watched him disappear? But alas our parrot cannot fly he's much too blinking fat, for every time we have some food he screams as well for that. Maybe one day he'll whisper, when he's really, really old. But the buggers live for 70 years, or more…… or so I'm told! Ivor G Davies