fear and other things

Fear and other things I have recurring nightmares and tell myself to remember the dream in the morning but I'm unable to recall the gruesome dream I think it is about nuclear war  When a seaman, I was often afraid of the ocean especially in the Pacific, where waves look like  the mountain that even unbalanced hangar ships the ship on top of a watery mountain, then sliding down, and in front of another gigantic wave, will she be able to rise up again I was in Nagasaki once, and by closing my eyes, I could see when that Bomb was dropped as tableaux of suffering people and death Panic, where I lived before I came to Cascais, there was a forest, I often walked there with my dog but not far into the forest, one day, when thinking about the mountain, what for lunch at the cafe I ended up in the deep forest and lost by bearing I think the dog sensed my distress and began  walking, I followed, every so often turned to see if I was there until I recognized my surroundings and bravely took charge  This is not romantic of me, but I do not dream about women in my life, except Teresa in Trinidad, I remember her beautiful smile and stars, light up the world was a good place, to think she was pro Other women are fading slowly, and faces are in deep shadow as they disappear from memory