Fear

A horrible crime It was a loss of innocence I didn't have a choice Nobody heard my voice Faded memories of the night Some thing's wrong I cant even fight. I thought I was going to die, so heavily drugged I couldn't even cry, I heard myself scream for help, but nothing came out of my mouth. In and out of consciousness fighting my body to stay awake. The cold floor upon my bare back, I wake to two men violating me. I can't move can't fight back. I fall back into a deep blackout.. my mind is screaming what is happening.. Two of them pushing and prodding having their way. I want to go home please take me home I try to cry out but nothing will come. Next on the bed I come to a man inside of me, he's saying something I can't make out. Take me home. I want to wake up wake up out of this nightmare. Why did I get in the car? Why did I trust her when she said they were friends? Next I feel nudging and pushing... "Get the hell up, its time to go", he says. Throwing my clothing at me hurrying me down the stairs in the car he shows no shame I black out once more.. River bend is all I can say.. Take me home please. I awake the next morning knowing knowing I was violated. I used to be so clean now I'm violated, unclean and dirty. And the guilt is killing me, even though its not my fault I feel as though it is. They made me feel a shame of myself, all I do is blame things on myself. Everything is my fault, Its all my fault. The pain I feel, The tears of sorrow, The things they have done to me, They violated me Make me feel ashamed. Bits and pieces cross my mind Please...erase out of my memory!! I don't want to remember the night. It took one night, one night of unforgettable violence To shatter my soul into a billion million pieces Before I'd ever realize Before I'd ever understand just how cruel, damn cruel this world could be Lost a piece of my innocence Helped my heart to see that I wanted to die, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream for help but no one heard me, I feel dirty. After that night of misery Things could never be the same. I will never be the same the outgoing happy, loving person I was.. I will never be the same physically or mentally... especially not emotionally. All because of them..