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A horrible crime

It was a loss of innocence

I didn't have a choice

Nobody heard my voice

Faded memories of the night

Some thing's wrong I cant even fight.

I thought I was going to die,

so heavily drugged I couldn't even cry,

I heard myself scream for help,

but nothing came out of my mouth.

In and out of consciousness

fighting my body to stay awake.

The cold floor upon my bare back,

I wake to two men violating me.

I can't move

can't fight back.

I fall back into a deep blackout..

my mind is screaming

what is happening..

Two of them pushing and prodding

having their way.

I want to go home

please take me home

I try to cry out but

nothing will come.

Next on the bed I come to

a man inside of me,

he's saying something

I can't make out.

Take me home.

I want to wake up

wake up out of this nightmare.

Why did I get in the car?

Why did I trust her

when she said they were friends?

Next I feel nudging and pushing...

"Get the hell up, its time to go",

he says.

Throwing my clothing at me

hurrying me down the stairs

in the car he shows no shame

I black out once more..

River bend is all I can say..

Take me home please.

I awake the next morning

knowing

knowing I was violated.

I used to be so clean

now I'm violated, unclean and dirty.

And the guilt is killing me,

even though its not my fault

I feel as though it is.

They made me feel a shame of myself,

all I do is blame things on myself.

Everything is my fault,

Its all my fault.

The pain I feel,

The tears of sorrow,

The things they have done to me,

They violated me

Make me feel ashamed.

Bits and pieces cross my mind

Please...erase out of my memory!!

I don't want to remember the night.

It took one night,

one night of unforgettable violence

To shatter my soul into a billion million pieces

Before I'd ever realize

Before I'd ever understand just how cruel,

damn cruel this world could be

Lost a piece of my innocence

Helped my heart to see that

I wanted to die,

I wanted to cry,

I wanted to scream for help but no one heard me,

I feel dirty.

After that night of misery

Things could never be the same.

I will never be the same

the outgoing happy,

loving person I was..

I will never be the same

physically or mentally...

especially not emotionally.

All because of them..
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