Falling

Here you go and you’re knocking on the door to my heart So many things so say but I don’t know where to start They say forgiveness cleans the darkest souls But why do I have to forgive for things that I can’t control? What about me? How do I breathe? How am I supposed to move on when you just up and leave? How am I supposed to carry a chip this size on my sleeve? I’m falling again You talk about me But you never talk to me It’s like I’m standing in front of you But you see right through me Why do I have to hold on to emotions that have me bursting at the seams? Why do I still think about you? I feel you in my dreams Aren’t I quite the fool? Why do you keep me hanging on? Why are you so cruel? You won’t see where you were wrong I’m falling again I push you away to keep you from coming temporarily I keep you away to keep you from hurting me How many times can you break a broken thing? How many tears do I have to shed in my dreams? I search for you But wet faces and hurt feelings are all I find I give love where it isn’t returned Like a badge of honor I haven’t earned Like a page that I left unturned I’m falling again There isn’t enough prayer to fill this void There isn’t a drug to cover up the pain There isn’t a word you can say to erase the shame I’m falling again