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Poem

Here you go and you’re knocking on the door to my heart
So many things so say but I don’t know where to start
They say forgiveness cleans the darkest souls
But why do I have to forgive for things that I can’t control? 

What about me? 
How do I breathe? 
How am I supposed to move on when you just up and leave? 
How am I supposed to carry a chip this size on my sleeve?
I’m falling again

You talk about me 
But you never talk to me
It’s like I’m standing in front of you
But you see right through me
Why do I have to hold on to emotions that have me bursting at the seams?
Why do I still think about you?
I feel you in my dreams
Aren’t I quite the fool?
Why do you keep me hanging on? 
Why are you so cruel?
You won’t see where you were wrong
I’m falling again 

I push you away to keep you from coming temporarily 
I keep you away to keep you from hurting me
How many times can you break a broken thing?
How many tears do I have to shed in my dreams?
I search for you 
But wet faces and hurt feelings are all I find
I give love where it isn’t returned
Like a badge of honor I haven’t earned
Like a page that I left unturned 
I’m falling again

There isn’t enough prayer to fill this void
There isn’t a drug to cover up the pain
There isn’t a word you can say to erase the shame
I’m falling again

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