Fading

It’s easy for people who are the outside to say “Get over it, everything will be okay” But how would they know I have tried to let my past rest But each day it comes back Opening like a fresh wound I wish I could not look back But ironically my past Is where I feel the most safe I look in the mirror Where I come face to face with my scars My dark, permanent ones The ones that have become my trademark I can’t imagine my life without them I am not mad at him for not loving me I am mad at myself for expecting him to I don’t believe that what is meant for me is for me Anymore Everything I want for myself goes to someone less deserving So why don't I just give up Im starting to wonder does God really exist? If so How could he let my world crumble like this? I try I try so hard To be all that is expected of me Yet I keep falling short Keep getting left in the cold But then again I am not surprised at all These disappoints have been the only things I can depend on Rely on Everything has faded to black And soon I will follow