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Poem

It’s easy for people who are the outside to say
“Get over it, everything will be okay”
But how would they know
I have tried to let my past rest
But each day it comes back
Opening like a fresh wound
I wish I could not look back
But ironically my past
Is where I feel the most safe
I look in the mirror 
Where I come face to face with my scars
My dark, permanent ones
The ones that have become my trademark
I can’t imagine my life without them
I am not mad at him for not loving me
I am mad at myself for expecting him to
I don’t believe that what is meant for me is for me
Anymore
Everything I want for myself goes to someone less deserving 
So why don't I just give up
Im starting to wonder does God really exist?
If so
How could he let my world crumble like this?
I try
I try so hard 
To be all that is expected of me
Yet I keep falling short
Keep getting left in the cold
But then again I am not surprised at all
These disappoints have been the only things I can depend on
Rely on
Everything has faded to black
And soon I will follow

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