Faded

I’m stuttering on this facile analogy      
Like I’m tripping on dubious morality
I’m lisping on my plain quizzicality 
Like I’m limping on roads to tonality
I’m damaged.
A marred good with no return policy

I’ve bled alone to one too many fights
I’ve slept wide awake one too many nights
I’ve stared into oblivion one too many sights 
I’ve chosen death to one too many plights 
Save me,
I’ve sullied too many lives
                                                                                                   
I’ll lie to your face again
I’ll smile with no grief again
I’ll die to your words again
I’ll fly with no wings again
Leave me be.
I’ll dry your ocean eyes again  

I’d wish my life color
I’d vie a stolen muller
I’d carve my own collar
I’d slit my neck in choler
You’d tempt me,
I’d fade in my own luster 

It’s just that,
It’s hard to breathe these days
It’s sad that,
‘Languish’ is my ultimatum (huh), what a cliché’
And it’s worse that
I’m the cause of my own decay.

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Mugo Muriithi

Date: 4/2/2025 12:05:00 PM

I'm just relishing your fine style as you unwind yourself in what you term as self imposed ...to be specific the last line, I am the cause of my own decay and your ultimate resolution to acceptance.

Hiba Junaid
Date: 4/4/2025 8:11:00 AM

Thank you for your kind review, Mugo <3

Susan Ashley

Date: 3/29/2025 9:02:00 AM

Dear Hiba, soulful poet, the dark emotional depths of your desolate verse speaks of someone with immense personal struggle, emotionally embedded pain and detachment, and the ability to hurt oneself and others. Your stark imagery and metaphors are vivid and used to great physical and psychological effect. The last line is filled with a forlorn feeling of acceptance of this internal/external conflict. The exquisite pain expressed is viscerally felt. Your potent, poignant pen spills your golden artistry upon a woeful page and I'm filled with gratitude to share in your poem's angst. Warmest wishes my dear poet friend.. ~Susan

Hiba Junaid
Date: 5/13/2025 11:48:00 PM

Haha yes, I was an angsty teen who wanted to start my own band. This was actually one of the 'songs' I wrote for it. Teenagers, am I right?

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/24/2025 10:54:00 AM

Wow! I'm blown away! Hiba, I revel in your immense talent so clearly apparent in grade 8.. so far ahead of your time.. and I relish your response that "grade 8 me would be over the moon". Love that! :))

Hiba Junaid
Date: 3/29/2025 10:07:00 AM

Hello Susan, I wrote this poem when I was very young (actually one of the very first I penned.) You can definitely see my 13-year old self coming through here hehe; it's not my finest work, but I am grateful for it as it brought me to where I am today. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt response - grade 8 me would be over the moon, and I am equally as grateful for it today. Be Blessed.