Extra Large Helping of Crow

I went home wearing my dinner. I had egg all over my face. Something I said had made her see red And she dumped spaghetti over my head. Maybe I should have said “Sorry” But she quickly stormed from the place Leaving me there with sauce in my hair Trying to act as if I didn’t care. The waitress, she tried to be helpful But I know she wanted to laugh. And there I just sat with my edible hat Trying to make like the Cheshire cat. And the restaurant, it got so quiet Right after my big social gaffe. As I crossed the floor with the food that I wore Casually making my way to the door. I cannot recall what I said that made her so angry. I don’t understand why she wanted to make such a scene. But I am just thankful we didn’t order a dessert… At least I don’t have to wash off banana cream. Well, my best suit was totally ruined And my dignity looked even worse But I didn’t dare react to the stares As I slowly and carefully walked out of there. And there she was next to the cashier, Seems she’d forgotten her purse. And I knew I was dead when she grabbed the french bread And proceeded to smack me upside of my head… First course: a helping of foot. Open mouth, insert boot. Next course I guess I should go And chow down an extra large helping of crow.