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Exotic Escape

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Written for Anoucheka Gangabissoon's After the party, I woke up on a tropical island poetry contest.

 

All I remember is rampant rain and a loud bang. As dawn distilled through a canopy of palm trees, glimpses of light reflected like emeralds on leaves. I felt blessed in its warm golden glow, as I awoke under clear sapphire skies. Radiant sun blazed brightly, reflecting like a fluorescent mosaic upon turquoise waves kissing my bare feet. I could hear cobalt macaws squawking and soaring from cliffs to branches, as the ocean lulled with a soft lullaby. The air was so pure, but muggy, as curious creatures, I had not seen before, creeped and crawled around me. As I wandered along a champagne shoreline, I could hear an orchestra of morning birds, composing their exotic melodies, which added to the tranquillity of calmness. Footsteps of fate led to a verdant forest with an abundance of mahogany and rosewood trees. A fluctuation of kaleidoscopic butterflies floated among a plethora of petals in lush layers of amber allamandas, maroon mandevillas, orange orchids and purple passionflowers - their sweet scents blending with saltiness of the sea breeze. As my soul connected deeply with my surroundings, a leafy path of twigs led to a myriad of mangroves, their roots resting in an aquamarine toned lagoon. I could see fancy fish in vibrant red, yellow and silver, swimming in trails of troops around water lilies. As my enchanted eyes gazed beyond a flock of fuchsia feathered flamingos, towards a gentle waterfall cascading, serenely over steps of rock - I caught a glimpse of a figure in divine light. Dressed in ivory and gold, reflecting in the image of Aphrodite. Her bronze skin shimmered in the sunlight, as her flaxen fair hair flickered in a gentle zephyr. Such was the epitome of her grace, I was mesmerised. I could have admired her brown pearl eyes, forever. Unaware the endless blue horizons were now dipped in velvet and honey hues, I forgot about the diamonds in the sky. The moon glowed like a ruby at midnight, shining scarlet moonlight upon her lips - my whole being craved for just one kiss. Before I could approach her, I opened my eyes in an unfamiliar room, as a nurse in a white uniform asked me; "welcome back, are you all right?"

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 7/30/2024 6:50:00 PM
A very beautiful writing with many images. Congratulations!
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Date: 7/30/2024 11:23:00 AM
Back with Congratulations on your win. I enjoyed reading your wonderful write/story with a Great Ending again.... Have a very fun day writing away...........
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Date: 7/3/2024 8:50:00 AM
SO, funny how just at a sweet moment, the sleeper awakens and moves from paradise to a cold and sterile environment. I do believe you captured just about all the wonderful features of a tropical island. The people who live in these places seem very happy...there must be a reason for that!!
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Date: 6/29/2024 9:14:00 AM
But who knows if our unconscious mind remembers or not, we dream, and we day dream, is it for our sanity or for a glimpse into the life of tomorrow or for a glimmer of hope to cope and calm us so we can deal with the stress of the fast pace of our present lives. When we reach our ultimate destination we might discover the truth. You have such a vibrant imaginative mind my friend, Blessings, Jennifer..
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Date: 6/26/2024 10:34:00 AM
Wonderful piece Silent One! Powerful penning. Fantastic imagery. Nice rhythm and flow. Enjoyed.
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Date: 6/26/2024 5:52:00 AM
Ooh, great twist at the end, though what a disappointment lol. We were right there anticipating bliss or hell, as sometimes things are not as they seem
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Date: 6/25/2024 7:58:00 AM
Sometimes we need to escape into our imagination realm and take a breather. This is a very calm and evocative piece; the last part made me chuckle. I have a lot of favorite words and lines here. "As I wandered along a champagne shoreline, I could hear an orchestra of morning birds, composing their exotic melodies." I love the paring and choice of metaphors. "amber allamandas, maroon mandevillas, orange orchids and purple passionflowers." you have so much way with-
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George Avatar
Tonye George
Date: 6/25/2024 8:06:00 AM
words dear, silent. "As my enchanted eyes gazed beyond a flock of fuchsia feathered flamingos." very amazing alliteration. I'm going to use this to woo someone.
Date: 6/25/2024 5:32:00 AM
I felt as if I got trapped in a magical land. What all glorious scenes..! The ocean that lay lulled under a soft lullaby and your walk through its champagne shorelines and your entering a verdant forest were all experiences, I too could enjoy. There you saw mangroves with their roots resting in an aquamarine lagoon and butterflies around the lovely flowers and the flock of fuchsia feathered flamingos....all such wonderful sights. Meeting the Aphrodite like beauty there who left your heart miss a beat gave it a surreal ambiance and the closing lines were indeed an anti climax. Dear Silent One, with shifting scenes of exotic beauty, you left me breathless.
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Date: 6/24/2024 11:56:00 AM
SO, amazing imagery - "champagne shoreline!" What a romantic place to wander "dipped in velvet and honey hues," a "ruby moon," and "fuchsia feathered flamingos!" Paradise for a romantic encounter. Great set up to the end of your poem, SO! Complete with a great surprise! Best wishes for the contest! Blessings! And, now back to your dream.
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Date: 6/24/2024 6:29:00 AM
"As I wandered along a champagne shoreline," -- bubbly, love that! "swimming in trails of troops around water lilies." -- very visual, original. "towards a gentle waterfall cascading, serenely over steps of rock - I caught a glimpse of a figure in divine light." Lots of wonderful expressions and imagery. Enjoyed this read very much.
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Date: 6/24/2024 4:45:00 AM
Champagne shorelines, midnight moons, such mortal delicacies suspended in time and creating the makings of an incredibly beautiful poem and excursion into your mind Silent One! I love your take on the contest!!
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Date: 6/24/2024 3:37:00 AM
Sighing with the imagery! Wishing my feet were being kissed in the turquoise waves, that I could see and hear the cobalt macaws squawking and ooh to the verdant forest with an abundance of mahogany and rosewood trees! Your imagery impeccable…I think you must have been there before…to your shock you wake up in the hospital. Fave for me!! Hugs ~ Kim
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Date: 6/24/2024 2:08:00 AM
With pleasant dreams, one is always sad to wake up in life's reality.
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Date: 6/23/2024 7:55:00 PM
Nice read. The ending totally caught me by surprise. Thanks for sharing.
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Date: 6/23/2024 7:32:00 PM
Pity waking up abruptly from this beautiful lucid dream immersion ~ superbly penned as always, Silent One.
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Date: 6/23/2024 5:56:00 PM
a knockout this is with descriptive phrases,S...might as well write short stories! incredibly done as changes of scenes mystify...thanks for coming around!
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Date: 6/23/2024 1:11:00 PM
Wow the wonderful word wizardry you share in this is a treat! I love the liquid alliteration and the bold beautiful colors and descriptions fully captured my imagination. The entire read was engaging and entertaining! Good luck in the contest Silent One! You surely have written a gem!
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Date: 6/23/2024 12:16:00 PM
Wonderful story and a great write
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Date: 6/23/2024 11:24:00 AM
WOW!! I enjoyed reading your wonderful write/story with a Great Ending... Love the pretty picture. "Good Luck"  Wish I was on your pretty beach... Have a great day writing away...........................
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Date: 6/23/2024 11:04:00 AM
Loved the exotic escape and the beautiful views, and those last few lines, awesome! Beryl
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Date: 6/23/2024 10:43:00 AM
Dear silent one, this definitely is a very exotic write. And so descriptive. Champagne beach, makes me think it definitely isnt maldives shore, since we have porcelain beaches. I love the way youv mentioned also macaws because we have macaws on our island. And i love the way you also mentioned flamingos. So very creative and the poetic storytelling here was so engaging. Got me hooked from the very first line, and as you mentioned the Aphrodite and brown pearly eyes as well as those kaleidoscope butterflies i couldnt help but be in awe! I love the flow as well as your use of poetic techniques! Its not just beautiful but also very soul stirring! The longing within the dream and waking up to a nurse questioning was quite a twist and one that is unique and i havent read so far of for this prompt in any of the takes iv seen. Which i think is clever’ you always do that. Leave us readers in awe surprised too!
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Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 6/23/2024 10:46:00 AM
Brilliant! Ad what a gorgeous picture to go with the poem! So fitting! I think this is beyond eloquent! Pleasure reading this! Best wishes! Sending you light

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry