Excruciatingly Painful
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I'm in a dark place; there's no light or hope,
happiness is a fleeting moment in time.
I'm in pain, both physical and emotional,
there is no cure, no refuge, and no explanation;
only a daunting, depressive darkness.
I wear a practiced smile to camouflage my pain;
wrestling with my invisible demons.
Seeing others happy is paramount to torture,
for I've never been pain-free;
it's always been a part of my life,
and thoughts of suicide fester in my mind.
I've tried; God knows how hard I've tried,
but I can't deal with the pain; I just can't!
Life lost its appeal, levying a heavy toll
on my soul; death offers me relief.
Tears dribble down my face;
when I hear, "It can't be that bad."
It doesn't take courage to kill myself,
it takes courage not to.
In a flash, it could all be over;
no more pain, no more tears, no more me.
But I'm not a quitter!
And yet, no matter how strong I try to be,
this silent, invisible disease persists; it isn't in my head.
Yes! I've tried praying for a miracle!!!
I struggle with pain, mobility problems, and fatigue;
the fact is, autoimmune diseases, though rare,
are excruciatingly painful.
Copyright © Emile Pinet | Year Posted 2021
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