Everyone Is Hoarding

Brrrring Brrring Brrring The shoppers are hoarding! Yells a voice on the phone. Call everyone! Tell them! Call everybody! Who is this? I ask. Silence “Is it Judy?” No answer. Hazel? Nothing. Mabel? Yes! Who is hoarding and what are they hoarding? EVERYBODY! She yelled. Could you be more specific? “I don’t know their names, but the stores are out of Kool-aid.” “I don’t drink Kool-aid”, I tell her. “What about apple juice? Do you drink apple juice?” Sometimes. Call the others she says. Warn everyone. It is our duty. Tell them to get to the stores and buy everything. Isn’t that hoarding? I ask her. Not if they did it first, she says. After she hangs up I realize the only person I know named Mable died three years ago.