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escape velocity

Oh, you swamp me with charm - get out of my head. There’s something about you - a warmth - like the comfort of home - that pulls at me. I study your landscape of attractive surfaces like a star chart - logging my weaknesses - to strengthen my emotional firewall. I WANT you but my “wants” just seem untrustworthy after recent deprivations. To be honest - I can’t afford you - not now. You’re a delicious pastry - with strings - and I need to cut all my strings. You’re something younger me would have wanted - before the pandemic, when scandalous thinking was uncomplicated and freedoms taken for granted. Last year simplified my reality. Over time, boredom melted me like wax but a new me crossed some threshold of certainty - that to flourish - no, just to survive - I must become more than I am, or find I’m less than I hoped. In 2019 goals seemed way, way someday things - far off reference points to seek out - like an inchworm. Social details occupied me like an unfocused dementia - there was an unacceptable level of childish thinking. But now I’m an escapee on the run who won’t be taken back alive. Old attachments must be stripped down and the old world made disposable - if I’m to achieve escape velocity. p.s. I write short stories too =]

Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

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Date: 6/17/2021 5:21:00 AM
Wow, Anais, did the pandemic really change you that much that you are now so focused on success that you think living life is childish thinking. If living life is childish thinking, call me Peter Pan, I don't ever want to grow up. I hope I am interpreting your meaning incorrectly. John
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Anais vionet
Date: 6/18/2021 9:49:00 AM
This made me think. I always saw my family as too serious and too achievement focused - so this resonated. This is more of an essay about being off to university in a hot minute and how now isn't a good time get "involved". I want to get out of this house, where I've been a virtual prisoner a year. We can't get our lost year back - but I can make sure I get out of HERE. I loved your comment.
Date: 6/16/2021 8:26:00 AM
This is my first visit Anais. Free verse that reads lie a deep dream. Your skill lifts me. - Ken
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Anais vionet
Date: 6/16/2021 9:36:00 AM
Oh! I’m SO glad you liked it and commented - thank you. =]