Endings I Do Believe

Endings ? – I do believe . There is this great, growing, emptiness, filling my soul, – permeating every fiber, every beat ( pounding away at my heart ) – it’s oppressive weight, bearing down, collapsing my spirit. There is this gigantic hole, where my life used to be – an abyss, a black hole from which there is no escaping the obvious – I no longer ( if ever ) hold a place of any importance, of any relevance of any meaning. = My spirit knows the tunes, hears the music. My soul wants, so much, to dance, to romance. = A will-o-wisp am I, among the shadows, cast upon this plane you and I have traversed. My days, my nights, my hours, my minutes but hollow places. Thoughts, feelings, visions, memories, all echo throughout these empty spaces. Once again, you have slipped into your silent mode – me you try and avoid, once more , to me become cold. I keep my distance, so as not to anger, to upset you and will, until you have a change of heart – this I do, because my love for you will keep me at bay until what troubles you ?, takes wing and flies away. Until then – I patiently await the coming of that day. Until then – I will reluctantly stay out of your way. Until then – I will look to the heavens and pray that my thoughts, my feelings, my beliefs will stay within the realms of possibility and of love upon white wings of peace – you know ?, the dove who carries - hope for all the wars – far above all that seems to be burning down the house of LOVE. These, my words, my Dear, I fear, you may never hear ! This poor attempt at rhyme – may be a waste of my time ! This spirit no longer flying, believe me !, I am not lying ! These lines, you’d say are “ silly, - isn’t that like you Billy ” ring in my head, the latest adjective telling me I am dead ! Another negative put down, of this foolish old clown, and his attempts at expressing, - the physical, mental, intellectual – his rambling. B. J. “A” 2 January 10th 2009