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End of Year Humour

MR GREEDY Mr Greedy could not eat any more His bulging stomach was swollen and sore Needed hospital care But he couldn't get there Cos he got wedged in the frame of the door... SPOILT BRAT A spoilt young daughter was having a moan Santa didn't bring the latest I phone Her dad said" hand me that You ungrateful young brat" And sent her off to her room to atone... MA KELLY Eighty year old Ma Kelly passed away Her mean family didn't want to pay So they filled her with concrete Then put supports on her feet And sold her as a statue on ebay... SINBAD For twelve camels Sinbad purchased a wife But she gave him lots of grief and much strife Tried to give her away All his friends they did say "A wife's not just for Christmas but for life" .. CLIMATE CHANGE Eskimos igloos started to buckle Global warming for them is big trouble They got home one day And to their dismay Their village had turned into a puddle... NEW YEAR If you go out celebrating new year Do go easy on the whiskey and beer Make sure you drive slowly Cos you don't want to be Stuck in a snow drift right up to your ear... Written 30th December 2019. Better still if you're driving DON'T DRINK. Happy New Year to all.

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Emilia James

Date: 9/20/2020 2:38:00 PM

I hope your humour never ends, I am becoming addictive to it. Another set of great fun reads. Emilia.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 9/20/2020 9:46:00 PM

Thank you very much Emilia, I love humour as youve noticed, the world needs more. Tom

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 1/23/2020 5:51:00 PM

Hello Tom i have enjoyed all these limericks. They are fun to read. Have a nice d=evening my friend.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/23/2020 6:43:00 PM

Thank you Darlene, glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Paul Callus

Date: 1/7/2020 11:47:00 AM

Happy New Year to you, Tom!! Your humour and wit provide good cheer to all your readers! Regards // paul

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/7/2020 12:00:00 PM

Thank you very much Paul, I hope yours has got off to a good start and that you're okay now. Tom

Mark Toney

Date: 1/5/2020 1:36:00 PM

Lol... Thanks, Tom, I needed a good, hearty laugh! ~Mark

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/5/2020 3:37:00 PM

Thanks Mark, I'm happy you enjoyed them. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 1/4/2020 10:04:00 AM

Hey Tom, when are you going to publish your book of amazing limericks, hope I get a signed copy! Blessings, Jennifer.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/4/2020 2:47:00 PM

Haha thanks Jennifer, if that ever happens you'll be the first to get a copy, signed of course. Hope you're OK. Tom

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/2/2020 8:44:00 PM

Numbers 2, 3 and 4 are outstanding humor. one of those made me LOL and that rarely happens for me here!!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/2/2020 8:54:00 PM

Thanks Andrea, happy I gave you a laugh. I've soupmailed you. Tom

Heidi Sands

Date: 1/2/2020 8:59:00 AM

Well done Tom and great advice for the last one! Happy New Year. I hope your year is filled with happiness and peace :)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/2/2020 2:04:00 PM

Thank you very much Heidi, wet and grey here although snow forecast in the next week or so. Tom

Joe Dimino

Date: 1/2/2020 5:33:00 AM

Good advise throughout the year. Well said, Tom.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/2/2020 5:35:00 AM

Thank you very much Joe. Happy New year to you. Tom

Ann Gilmour

Date: 1/2/2020 4:02:00 AM

These are all such fun Tom, especially poor Ma Kelly, haha. Thank you for putting a smile on my face. With kindest thoughts Ann xx

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/2/2020 5:34:00 AM

Thank you very much Ann, haven't had much time last few days, playing catch up. Tom

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 1/1/2020 5:06:00 PM

G'day Tom … always good to get a laugh to kick start the year. You're first limerick 'greedy' had me thinking of a song on youtube - I don't look good naked anymore - have a listen - thanks again Tom - Lindsay

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/2/2020 5:32:00 AM

Haha, checked it the snake oil Willie band, what a hoot that was. Happy. New Year. Tom

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 1/1/2020 1:49:00 AM

I loved the good cheer Tom. Thank you for these funny Limericks. I think I liked the Brat one best as I have see this happen. Hau'oli Makahiki Hou! xxoo

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/1/2020 2:22:00 AM

Thank you very much Connie, happy you enjoyed them. Tom

Charles Messina

Date: 12/31/2019 9:07:00 AM

Oh Magoo...you've done it again. (lol) Love the lim's, Tom. Wishing you and yours a Healthy and Happy New Year! Charlie

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2019 9:36:00 AM

Thank you very much Charlie, I wish you and yours the same, with good health and happiness. Tom

Demetrios Trifiatis

Date: 12/31/2019 5:00:00 AM

Amazing fireworks of Limericks , I do not know how I missed them yesterday! Marvelously done my friend, Tom! Your title as the Beethoven of Limericks remains unchallenged! You helped me leave this year with a smile!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2019 6:26:00 AM

Thanks very much Demetrios, glad you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Besma Riabi Dziri

Date: 12/31/2019 1:54:00 AM

A gift from God your wonderful mastery of words! A blessing from God your genuine feels and sharp thoughts! An immense pleasure to start my day with so captivating a work that pours laughter into my heart and a wide space of light into my mind.. Great work! Happy New Year, Tom! Wish you a great time full of love and blessings..

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2019 4:56:00 AM

Thank you very much Besma, I'm happy you enjoyed my humour. I hope you are keeping well. Tom

Alexis Y.

Date: 12/31/2019 12:38:00 AM

Lol! Tom, I enjoyed your"end of the year" limericks. Happy New Year my friend:-) Alexis

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2019 1:28:00 AM

Thank you Alexis. Happy you enjoyed. Happy New year. Tom

Gershon Wolf

Date: 12/30/2019 9:11:00 PM

Marvelous, Tom. Just marvelous. Every one a gem. Thanks, Gershon

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2019 1:27:00 AM

Thank you Gershon, glad you enjoyed. Happy New year. Tom

Timothy Mcguire

Date: 12/30/2019 5:58:00 PM

great Tom!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/30/2019 6:21:00 PM

Thank you Timothy, Happy New year. Tom

Vijay Pandit

Date: 12/30/2019 3:45:00 PM

All of your poems are fun and joy--pure clean humor, Tom. They seem to flow effortlessly from your gifted pen.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/30/2019 3:56:00 PM

Thank you very much Vijay. Wishing you a very happy new year. Tom

Panagiota Romios

Date: 12/30/2019 1:57:00 PM

Hysterical, Tom. don't know which one I like best! Best to you and yours! Happy New Year. Thanks for being a stalwart friend! Panagiota

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/30/2019 2:16:00 PM

Thanks Panagiota, and thank you too. Hope 2020 brings you and your family good health and happiness. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 12/30/2019 1:52:00 PM

- Everyone is funny ... but, Ma Kelly for sale on ebay ... the top of the cake, Tom :))) - Best wishes for a wonderful new year, Tom :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/30/2019 1:55:00 PM

Thanks Anne, happy you enjoyed them. Hope you have a wonderful new year too. Tom

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 12/30/2019 1:42:00 PM

Ha ha, what a fun way to start my day. Thanks Tom.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/30/2019 1:50:00 PM

Thanks Richard, as I'm out tomorrow thought I'd better post now. Glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Jan Allison

Date: 12/30/2019 1:33:00 PM

a masterclass of limerick writing Tom, thanks for the huge chuckle - into my faves:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/30/2019 1:51:00 PM

Thanks very much Jan, and for the fave. You were my inspiration for writing them. Happy New year. Tom