Emotion and Logic Should Balance

A selfish act, a separation; departing from this life at ones own hand seemingly without care made everything go away and I now I’m left confused. Motivations, anticipations; commitments to a cause; ebbed away while on my knees, crying this can’t be. And the agony was but the beginning and now unanswered questions haunt my conscience mind. I struggle not with the causes of such actions, it is what it was and what it was I’m not likely to ever know. Where is the third part of the nucleus that made up the triangle, that’s my confusion? My stance like the pugilist remains balanced and even though I travel many roads of probability in my thoughts, in my life for the most part stays very much as it always has been. Perhaps the missing one also separated from all connections as a protective measure but I, I am unable to see the logic of such measures. I don’t exist; she doesn’t exist, so there fore he never existed either? And I try harder by the day to get closer to the light because only he of the light will tell me true when I am old and my mind continually tells me none of this was ever real. And I query not as to if this life really exist but weather or not it is what we think it is. It has been taught to me that heaven has many levels therefore maybe this is one of hells many levels also. These answers elude me as it must others who lean towards seeing with an open eye, and I can only remain loyal to the cause regardless of all hindrances. Surely those of us with kindred concepts will overcome and by the grace of the one and only, the answers will finally be forthcoming. And to her, the living missing one who I thought was a likened soul, I send my best wishes and my undying love. Perhaps someday you’ll know this and it might comfort you to know I never forgot any of it.