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A selfish act, a separation; departing from this life at ones own hand seemingly without
care made everything go away and I now I’m left confused. 
Motivations, anticipations; commitments to a cause; ebbed away while on my knees, crying
this can’t be. And the agony was but the beginning and now unanswered questions haunt my
conscience mind. I struggle not with the causes of such actions, it is what it was and
what it was I’m not likely to ever know. Where is the third part of the nucleus that made
up the triangle, that’s my confusion? 
    My stance like the pugilist remains balanced and even though I travel many roads of
probability in my thoughts, in my life for the most part stays very much as it always has
been. Perhaps the missing one also separated from all connections as a protective measure
but I, I am unable to see the logic of such measures. I don’t exist; she doesn’t exist, so
there fore he never existed either? And I try harder by the day to get closer to the light
because only he of the light will tell me true when I am old and my mind continually tells
me none of this was ever real.
    And I query not as to if this life really exist but weather or not it is what we think
it is. It has been taught to me that heaven has many levels therefore maybe this is one of
hells many levels also. These answers elude me as it must others who lean towards seeing
with an open eye, and I can only remain loyal to the cause regardless of all hindrances.
Surely those of us with kindred concepts will overcome and by the grace of the one and
only, the answers will finally be forthcoming. And to her, the living missing one who I
thought was a likened soul, I send my best wishes and my undying love. Perhaps someday
you’ll know this and it might comfort you to know I never forgot any of it.
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