Emily, My Elephant

That's not my elephant! My elephant is purple with black hair! I use the bill of rights as an excuse for being such a tree hugger. Before my elephant left she said, " Bye-bye loser" whatever that meant! I'm furious beyond belief that my elephant, Emily, would leave. She hasn't written to tell me she's alright. Has she been murdered or even worse, CAPTURED!? It's amazing. After twenty months I still can't find you or your remains. I held a funeral for you, in anticipation of your return. My heart's broken beyond belief. Wait, who are we talking about again?