Edible - Bawdy

[Advance Apologies: Sat on this for a few months
Concerned that it may be a little OTT for Soup. If
Your gag reflex is sensitive... best skip this one]


Edible knickers were once quite the thing
For couples who fancied a little more zing
I first heard about them with Beth on her back
She said go ‘downstairs’ if you fancy a snack

Well, supper was not quite what I had in mind
But she pushed on my shoulders, ‘Seek... and you’ll find’
And lo, she was right, they tasted fantastic
Once I had managed to chew the elastic 

But that night was over, I suffered such grief
I couldn't get satin and silk from my teeth 
She’d heard you can score more in edible knickers
She’d thought that the ad said incredible knickers 

But many years on I tried it for real
We met up again and I tried to appeal
Remembered the eighties and all of the hype
And bought her some undies... the EDIBLE type

For now we were older and each slightly bolder
She said she would do whatever I told her
So she wasn't stressed, she seemed quite impressed
When save for those knickers, I left her undressed

I headed ‘downstairs’ to grab me some ‘supper’
I had no idea that my plans she would scupper
For there I was nibbling her pink raunchy pants
I just wished she’d mentioned her incontinence
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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Gauthier Avatar
May 31, 2021 at 8:01 AM
Such class that you made everything rhyme, Terry ~ Loved "And lo, she was right, they tasted fantastic / Once I had managed to chew the elastic" ~ your humor is impeccable. I just wish I could unread the last line ~ lol
Flood Avatar
July 11, 2021 at 12:29 AM
Sorry, I missed your kind comments, Line. Wasn’t being rude, I’ve only just seen it. Glad you enjoyed. Terry
Wolf Avatar
May 26, 2021 at 5:14 PM
Since you 'let me off the hook' for my comment, I'll congratulate you on POTD. Any leftovers? lol. ~ BLT.. (Better Late Than...)
Flood Avatar
May 26, 2021 at 5:29 PM
There might be forty eight inches of elastic (she’d gained a few pounds). Thanks, Gershon, for your tardy congratulations... anyone would think you had better things to think about. Seriously; hope you and yours are keeping well. Terry
Roper Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 9:43 PM
This is so funny, Terry. Anne-Lise does have an idea :) Congratulations on POTD. Hugs Eve
Flood Avatar
May 25, 2021 at 4:45 AM
Thanks Eve... I promise it wasn’t intended for Nursery Rhyme 6 ;-) Terry
Kauffman Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 9:02 PM
Okaaay! Very, ah, delicious, Terry! Congratulations on your POTD.
Kauffman Avatar
May 25, 2021 at 12:24 PM
Maybe? Let me think about it.
Flood Avatar
May 25, 2021 at 4:44 AM
You don’t sound too sure, Sam. Would sprinkles help? Er... let me rephrase that. Terry
Sands Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 6:30 PM
LoL. Congratulations for POTD Terry :)
Flood Avatar
May 25, 2021 at 4:43 AM
Thanks Heidi. Terry
Lawless Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 4:31 PM
EDIBLE?????....DEPENDS
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 4:36 PM
Ah John, you missed the subliminal message that they were banana milkshake flavour. Okay, I made that up... but blimey, I’d eat those! Cheers John. Terry
La France Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 3:09 PM
Terry, funny and congratulations on POEM OF THE DAY enjoy the honor, peace _Constance
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 3:17 PM
Thank you Constance. Chuffed that you enjoyed. Terry
Peck Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 2:19 PM
HaHa! Very funny and great rhyming! Congratulations! Really enjoyed reading!
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 2:22 PM
Thanks Ann, glad you enjoyed. Terry
Andresen Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 11:16 AM
- I hope you did not have to go to the dentist to have your teeth cleaned of satin and silk ... chocolate is better :)))) -Congratulations on your p.o.t.d. ,Terry :) ... (incontinence is a taboo word :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 12:20 PM
It wasn’t so much the satin and silk, it was that damned elastic. He wedged his feet against the chair and pulled... and pulled. Then he lost his footing and shot out of the window. So I got off without paying: RESULT! Thanks Anne-Lise. Terry
Kavanagh  Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 10:29 AM
Heya Terry, congratulations on this unique POTD, nothing offensive here, bit of tasteful fun more like, people get up to all sorts of bedroom Shenanigans, I enjoyed the humour, cheers David
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 12:09 PM
Thanks David, I love the way words you haven’t used in years suddenly crop up . I so need to write a poem with ‘shenanigans’ in it... thanks (a bunch) Terry
Rone Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 8:25 AM
I think about the record jacket photo of Arlo on Alice's Restaurant for some reason...A Great PODT for the evening Terry. - Ken
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 8:27 AM
Hmmm... don’t know that that record... I’ll look it up. Thanks, Ken. Terry
Goldsmith Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 8:16 AM
Congratulations on your POTD win. A creative and fun write. Thanks for the laughs. Have a blessed day/week..............
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 8:34 AM
Chuffed you enjoyed, Paula. Terry
May Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 8:11 AM
Flavorful, Congrats on POTD Terry
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 8:35 AM
Thanks Joseph. Glad you enjoyed. Terry
Hankins Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 7:50 AM
Congratulations on your POTD, Terry. This should put an end to the griping by some members about bawdy poetry. Good! I believe in freedom of speech and NO censorship! I don't always like what is said, but I defend the right to say it. Your poem was delightful!
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 11:58 AM
Agree entirely, Milt [especially the ‘delightful’ bit ;-) ]. Alas I suspect it will take more than my words to bridge the gulf that seems to have opened up, although I’d love you to be right. Thanks for your much appreciated praise. Terry the tripod... sorry, just a little bawdy gag.
Edmonds  Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 7:37 AM
O boy what a laugh. It’s not what one had for supper but what one found under the cover. Congratulations on poem of the day… Belle
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 12:00 PM
Thanks Belle. I’m chuffed... gobsmacked... but chuffed. Terry
Turner Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 7:00 AM
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. it's learning to dance in the rain. Congratulations on POTD. Terry:)
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 12:01 PM
Hi Daniel, I’ve never been complimented by Confucius before ;-). Thanks for your congrats. Terry
Marcum Wong Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 5:28 AM
So naughty but hilarious! Congratulations on your POTD with this clever write Terry. Good you put the warning up for the younger poets here. Blessings
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 12:34 PM
Thanks Connie, as Jan said, the ‘Bawdy’ in the title was her suggestion. I have to confess, it never occurs to me that there might be very young readers online. I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks again. Terry
Allison Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 11:12 AM
Well said Connie, I suggested Terry put bawdy in the title which I do in my poems which I consider are bawdy. Sadly I still get castigated by a blog hog who has done 3 blogs aimed at me (no names but who else writes poop and bawdy limericks) the limerick form can be bawdy and if he doesnt like my style its simple he doesnt have to read but the bullying HAS to stop
Kitchin Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 4:37 AM
OMG, ha ha ha, I enjoyed a good laugh from this one, congratulations on POTD!
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 1:53 PM
Thanks Tania. Glad you enjoyed. Terry
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 1:24 PM
Thanks Tania. Glad you enjoyed. Terry
Neumann Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 3:02 AM
Nice one. Congratulations on POTD.
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 1:53 PM
Thanks Kai. Appreciated. Terry
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 1:31 PM
Thanks Kai. Appreciated. Terry
Allison Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 2:19 AM
ha haha so good to see you as POTD I laugh even more reading this for the third time lol:-) that punch line is just hilarious, write on Terry we need more humour on soup:-) hugs jan xx
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 12:30 PM
Thanks Jan. It’s a weird thing, I loved this poem the moment I wrote it, but the prospect of POTD never so much as tickled my sub-conscious. However, now that I’m poetry megastar I feel I owe it to my fans to... sorry, got a bit carried away there. ;-) Terry
Cunningham Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 12:46 AM
Back with congratulations Terry on POTD, enjoy your day in the bright lights. Pass the salt old boy lol. Tom
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 2:11 AM
Stunned! I never thought for a moment that ‘carry on film’ bawdiness would ever be deemed POTD. I’m thoroughly chuffed but I’d love to know the criteria that shapes the decision. Now... what rhymes with SMUT! ;-)
Wolf Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 6:35 PM
I've heard of Continental breakfasts, but never tasted 'Incontinental Dinners' before this tasty treat, Terry. lol. Thanks, gw
Leffanta Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 12:05 PM
Well done, both of you! Aloha! Rico
Flood Avatar
May 24, 2021 at 2:14 AM
Your comment is not supposed to be funnier than my poem. I’ll let you off though. Thanks Gershon. Terry
Hankins Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 12:50 PM
Terry, it was a hoot from start to finish. I enjoyed it very much....glad you did not hold back on submitting it. Hey, in my opinion, this is no place for censorship!
Flood Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 1:42 PM
Absolutely... spot on. I don’t get why anyone here would have a problem with the more ‘fruity’ offerings, especially if there’s a warning in the title. Thanks for your appreciation. Terry
Cunningham Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 12:44 PM
They say dont knock it till youve tried it, but I think I'll pass lol Tom
Flood Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 1:35 PM
Pass what? The salt? ;-) Terry
Allison Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 12:00 PM
ha ha ha bawdiness at its best - absolutely hilarious, there has been 2 blogs aimed at me and my 'porno/bawdy poems but i break no rules and will not be belittled by a bully and a troll, write on!:-) hugs jan xx
Allison Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 1:42 PM
Its getting pretty boring with the blog hog but its spurring me on to write even more poop/bawdy poems lol:-) hugs jan xx
Flood Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 1:34 PM
Thanks Jan. I confess to toning down the very last line. Glad you enjoyed this. Terry. PS... I’m very likely to yawn in the face of any troll or bully!
Hankins Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 12:52 PM
Jan, if I had read those blogs, I would have strenuously objected. This is no place for censorship, period. Interesting I had "erection" replaced by **** in a poem where it was completely appropriate. ****s have happened twice to me, so I am over-sensitive now.
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