Dust, ashes, memories

Dust is falling The one above is calling Hate myself but can't erase The damage done is written all over my face Killing me from the inside out Disassociated and consumed by doubt All that iv ever known Turned out to be one sick show From start to end it was all a lie Now the perpetrator runs and hides One person left to carry it all I think they want to watch me fall Love and loss is part of life Yet here i stand just a low life My heart is shred to a thousand pieces Yet on Facebook their all smiling faces How do I hurt the one who has hurt me What can I do to make her see Daughter disowned, left on the street Perfect family left, no baggage on the back seat Yet hidden in her black cold heart Is the truth in her playing her part Narcissistic is too kind of a word She's my mother, yet her responsibility defferd Actions have consequences Lies betray Sadness heals Disappointment stays Music playing but I can't hear the song Iv been stuck in my head too long Days and nights merge into one Coffee and cigarettes is what my life has become Betrayal has stabbed me, its the end Will I come back and be on the mend? Or will this darkness finally consume Just me and "the lie" left in the room When will I be happy again? When will my life turn back to mundane? When will the tears stop their fall? When will I stop feeling so small? Betrayal by my mother has broken my heart A lie told in the 80s was the start Every year after was just a lie She never loved me, I say with a sigh Playing the victim is her best trait One day maybe I will set the record straight All she will see is how SHE was wronged Whats the point in fighting when her love is already gone There was a time it was me and her until the end Then she met someone and it was all pretend I was a child and had to hide Otherwise I would bare the brunt of his bad side All these wrongs don't make things right I just need her to have some insight The pain she has caused through her lies She's the reason iv always wanted to die My world is black, no hope in sight Always looking up to catch that light Out of darkness people shine bright Do I have the strength for this fight My heart is yearning for some light How do I make this right? I do hope I win this fight Out of darkness people shine bright Forgiveness is not an option for she She has to know she has really hurt me A mother's love is sacred they say My mother's love has gone away Dust is falling .......nobody is calling