Dual - Not Me

I don’t know what I did To deserve to be myself Interpret that how you like It is what you think it is. I am dual-sided A hypocritical little girl With an aged mind Who doesn’t know what she wants Or how she wants it. I get it. I don’t get what they have. My roses smell like crap And someone poisoned my chocolates. It was probably me. I am not worthy Of the things that come to me There is no reason for me to be So damned confident But despite my protestations to the contrary I can be at times, While simultaneously Hating my dirty, entitled guts. I say all the things Meant to be left unsaid And I don't say All that you need to hear. Anxiety is what fills my stomach Nourishes me and gives me the drive To continue to function. Something’s got to give Let’s just hope it’s not me.