Home » Poems » Laura Breidenthal » Drive -Part 2-

Drive -Part 2-

Wanted to try Tanka--not sure if they ever come in pairs...but... ----------------------------- It has been hours There is no more moisture left No not even sweat They spill her out of the sack No tears to give them pleasure No pleasure at all Brown eyes glisten into theirs The laughter has ceased They cannot fathom she’s alive The master looks at each face

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/18/2012 2:59:00 PM

I am not sure if I am interpreting this correctly. But I feel it is a very sad one. Am I right? I enjoyed reading this one.

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 10/18/2012 4:56:00 PM

Drive Part one explains a little better. It is indeed a sad one- glad you enjoyed it. :)

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 10/16/2012 2:35:00 PM

Laura, i like the way you paired up your poem. in any role, sadness always seizes the way we want to feel, you can breath and still feel dead. you did a good job, with the conclusion on your title... always... driving myself crazy..xox..pd

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 10/18/2012 4:56:00 PM

Thanks a mill :D

Jonas L. Rozario

Date: 10/15/2012 7:43:00 PM

Powerful Piece here...very nicely done indeed. Just to let you know that you can write as many stanzas as you wish in Tanka. I have found a website called 'tankaonline.com'...which really helped me to understand the form better. There are some really useful tips in there...you can check out the site if you like!!

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 10/18/2012 4:57:00 PM

Thanks Jonas!!! And you're very welcome. I enjoy your work.

Jonas L. Rozario
Date: 10/15/2012 7:51:00 PM

By the way Thanks so much for stopping by my page...I will read your work soon too. Later!!!