Dressing Like a Hooker

The craziest thing I have ever done Is dress like a hooker in an off-the-shoulder sweater, and the tightest, lightest baby blue hip hugger, bellbottoms, in order to procure the lead to the senior play. I had to sneak out of the house, dressed in red lipstick and false eyelashes. I am a Bible-belt girl, and belting out the Bible was not good enough, I had to be better than that. Usually my mother washed my face six times before I could leave. I had this weird feeling that the only way I had a chance was to ooze sex, which my 17-year-old self barely knew existed. Yet, I did it, and the idiotic teacher could not stop staring at me, which made me feel all-powerful, and all kinds of stupid. I am morbidly embarrassed to tell you that I did procure the part, and was uncomfortable the entire time, thinking what he must have been thinking when I was dressed as a tart. So was it worth it? Totally.