Down In the Dumps

lifes a little joke but im not laughing helpless to the things happening wanting to grow and learn to laugh again to heal old scars and avoid new bruises to make new friends and honor old truces scared to move yet must move on all lifes story one long sad song pick up the tempo sad wont work im sick of depression sick of hurt sick of pain and being double crossed sick of striving for my memories lost nothings for real unless you see it words useless unless you mean it sat for so long writing sad poems scared of who sees or knows them so happy for everything but not content wishing to take back messages sent a lonely kid 18 years young struggling against the rope he hung i am the shaken and the distraught i am rebellious against all things taught i am loud in silence and quiet on the podium i am an unbeliever unless i see or hold them i am the pun to every sad joke i am wealthy yet emotionally broke i need an anchor before im lost i need a faith a book or cross i need something i cannot find something held thats only mine