Dont Understand Any More

I don’t understand my heart any more I don’t understand why at all All I have done lately is cry how can it be how can I stand to even want to look at that pathetic thing called a man But yet my eyes still shed tears for him my body still yearns for his touch why am I still in love with a joke of such I want to know why and how can I still want him so much ? I don’t understand after all that he’s done why on earth haven’t I run? Even after all that I found I still stuck around and had my feelings torn down I still dream of him I still call his name I feel so ashamed when I see him walk by I cant even look him in the eye I don’t know if he sees how sad I am in side but I know that I feel like I have died all because my true love lied if only I could gather my self and put my feelings of love for him on a high shelf then maybe I can move on just as he has done but with out him my life is no fun I wish I could just vanish that way my love for him would be banished and I wouldn’t have to worry any more but I know deep down he will be the only man I want to love and adore for ever more .