Distorted Faith

As I lay in this empty room Alone and hiding in the gloom. Pondering why I have become A monster, hateful and loathsome. I regret the day I found God, for He has forsaken this lad. I kept asking what have I done? That made my life vanished and gone? Why life does not have to be fair? Seems for every joy there's despair. I trusted God since I was born, But why does my life filled with torn? ‘‘Ask my child and you shall receive'', Lies that I honestly believe. But now I do not even care, Life’s full of unanswered prayer. ''Knock child and you shall be opened'', Another lie that He mentioned. I knocked and knocked but no one's there Just myself begging love and care. Will you tell me what did I do That made my once happy life go? Was it a test or was I cursed? That made my life so freaking worst!