Distance Between Father and Son

I wish dad had been more affectionate like other fathers who made their sons proud, guided them through life's long phases with the same strength and certitude they had; I looked at him and saw austerity on his face, not expressing love for a timid child with a voice without wit. And the unspoken word created a distance between father and son, pulling me further and further from him until I felt numb and vain... I couldn't say to him what my dream was, or what I tried to achieve; and rambling from place to place, I became that rolling stone kicked by all on a busy road and lying in mud after a hard rain... I wept in silent rage, he heard it often, but let me grieve! Was it his selfish ego...not to let love show without shedding a single tear? Should love have restrictions...not being equally shared by boys and girls? And on every anniversary, that vision of stern father and sad boy returns... I loved dad and he knew why I hated the way he kept his affection from me, and instead of getting a hug today, I write an elegy for his tomb under a pine tree; o father, I wanted to embrace you and honor you by breaking that barrier of fear!