Disillusion
I have become so tired and lost
There’s nothing left within but mistrust
Mistrust of myself mistrusting this life
Mistrusted you all but now I don’t fight
I ended my life every time I could try
I ended your love if I knew I would die
Even if I still wanted to stand up and live
The stains of blood on my face could never forgive
In the darkness in the corner
I feel it waiting
In the mirror, I must warn her
I can’t escape it
Self-destructive disillusion
Just screw it all up
With a passion, no confusion
I’ll throw myself away
Scars are okay if I am smiling
My dreams of that day are more than frightening
But I can still smile with something to feel now
I can start laughing as I hurt myself over what’s real
In a question with no answer
I find every meaning
In a scarecrow looking out there
I see a sky deceiving
I have the answers, but it’s nothing
Only my shadow
I’m the scapegoat, I’m a martyr
I’m everything but life
If you feel the need to know what I am
Shut the hell up and just give me the knife
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