The Whiskey Taster’s Flavor Guide
Notes About The Poem

Disappearing In a Cloud of Smoke

She stood in the doorway of the house Her vibrant cerise pink dressing gown bulging at the seams - Like a sack of dough tied up in the middle Life has been hard for her and it shows in her face Which was lined like the bark of a gnarled oak tree Clouds of smoke billow from the cigarette that hangs like an icicle from the corner of her mouth I smile and say hello Embarrassed at being seen she lets the cigarette fall Retreating rapidly through the clearing fog back indoors I observed this scene when I was out walking yesterday 3rd April 2015
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Schneiter Avatar
April 22, 2015 at 7:30 PM
A slice of the dark side of life presented with quintessential Allison eloquence. Powerful, thought-provoking, and evocative of the aphorism "There but for the grace of God go I." Bravo!
Allison Avatar
April 23, 2015 at 2:14 AM
Oh Paul I sincerely hope I never let myself go to this extent - it was really sad to see her:-( Hugs jan xx
Fraser Avatar
April 4, 2015 at 12:34 PM
Such seen witnessed in many a scene Jan. Your fast becoming the all round poet, and that's extremely rare. I'm so glad that your path led you to the Soup, mega hugs/xx/James
Allison Avatar
April 4, 2015 at 12:38 PM
I can only thank Jenny Brewer for pushing me for a month to join the site - I doubt I would have grown so much in confidence and ability if it hadn't been for her persistence and seeing something in me that I couldn't :-) I am truly blessed to have someone who believed in me:-) Hugs Jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 9:24 PM
Jan, you asked what this is. If you play around with it and work on good line breaks, making shorter lines. I think it is free verse! A great style for you to explore
Allison Avatar
April 4, 2015 at 5:52 AM
Thanks Andrea - I am really happy with the poem and the feedback I've received - wouldn't want to change a word... but i will think on it for the future:-) Hugs Jan xx
Vaso Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:42 PM
All of this , well has inspired me with an idea! As I have said you guys are great, a breath of fresh air to be able to smile and laugh so much!
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:57 PM
Makes it all worthwhile Arthur:-) Hugs jan xx
Vaso Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:36 PM
People will start to wonder what we all have been smoking tonight!!!
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:39 PM
The only joint I have in one to go in the oven on Sunday lol:-) Hugs jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:31 PM
As far as getting community points...oh good now little jimmy can get his operation now. Those are great for poetry soup also someone like you who reads and comments to so many poets are a great asset and support system to the other poets. I don't see any upside to racking up community points but I guess they're better than a kick in the face...although a kick in the face is nice too! Love You, Armand ??
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:39 PM
Got too much going on in life that is important than to bother with the lists here am just indebted to Jenny Brewer for believing in me and encouraging me to join here:-) Hugs Jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:38 PM
As per your reply above, you are so right and you are great bro!
Vaso Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:35 PM
The best points here, is the laughter, the sharing, you guys are great!
Vaso Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:28 PM
And on Maurice s last post I could not agree more, the beauty I have seen here is such a diversity of poetry and expression, its such a joy to see such an abundance of creativity!!!
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:36 PM
I have to thank you for inspiring me with my new poem Arthur - I am in awe of your creativity :-) Hugs jan xx
Vaso Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:26 PM
Home depot Floor tiles are only 1.99 a tile!!!!! This week only! Get a free poem with every purchase!!!! Now this is spamming!!!!! LOL
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:35 PM
LOL you deserve being hauled over the carpet for that comment:-) hugs Jan xx
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:35 PM
I don't mind you being on top occasionally Armand:-) Hugs Jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:33 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:24 PM
"so there is hope I will write a decent poem one day" are you kidding you have written hundreds of amazing poems. I think everything happens for a reason. There is so much more depth to the poetry you write now than you could have written when you were young. Remember that Grandma Moses did not start painting until she was an older woman and she is considered a master. The great thing about the arts is there in no single mold anyone has to fit into!
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:33 PM
I am sure some people would disagree Armand lol - but I am grateful I have found this creativity which has brought me so much pleasure and relief from the stress in my life in the last 13 months:-) Hugs Jan xx
Vaso Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:23 PM
I think Jan is brilliant too, then again I think my long lost brother is brilliant too!!!
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 8:28 PM
aww am blushing here lol:-) Hugs Jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:48 PM
OMG! I just realized this is just like spamming.
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:52 PM
Ha ha ha :-) - just means you get more community points:-) Hugs jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:47 PM
Of course that is something just between me and Arthur so I don't know why I'm telling you.
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:51 PM
Ha ha ha - you two would make a great comedy double act:-) Hugs jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:45 PM
I didn't really need to make that last comment but I like to make sure I make a lot more comments than Arthur to any one post.
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:50 PM
LOL:-) Hugs jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:44 PM
...and you thought you were just writing about some woman with a cigarette.
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:50 PM
LOL:-) I get inspired by everything around me Armand or events in my life - pity I started writing relatively late in life - saying that my aunt and uncle still write - he is 96 my aunt is 87 so there is hope I will write a decent poem one day:-) Hugs Jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:42 PM
Oh yeah and I like it too!
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:45 PM
:-) Hugs Jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:41 PM
Jan you show an incredible strength writing in this style. If I were you I would explore this talent further. You are brilliant no matter the style but I think this is that perfect icing for your perfectly baked cake. I already faved this one or I would fav it now!
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:45 PM
Aww you are so kind and boost my spirits Armand:-) Hugs jan xx
Vaso Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 6:57 PM
That could even become a Poem title "Blown Away"
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:13 PM
Nice thought Arthur - you better write that one I've done my trilogy! Hugs Jan xx
Vaso Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 6:40 PM
This what poetry should be, If I was a teacher would use this one to teach a few!!! GAV, (great amazing verse)
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 6:43 PM
Aww thanks Arthur I am blown away with the positive comments I've had on this write:-) Hugs Jan xx
Ellison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 6:02 PM
You've got an eye for beauty no matter what form it takes... whatta form! Great descriptive write dear sis! Hugs, Jack xxx
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 6:08 PM
Thanks so much Jack - always a pleasure to see you visit my page:-) Hugs Jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 5:45 PM
Brilliant imagery. I wasn't really embarrassed being seen after all I was wearing my beautiful cerise pink dressing gown. It's just that wasn't a cigarette I was smoking. Incredible descriptive write!
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 5:47 PM
LOL Armand your comments really brighten my day:-) Hugs Jan xx
Laurie Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 5:10 PM
G'day Jan... most people would walk past without a thought, but not an observance poet like yourself Jan. This poem is really good - Lindsay
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 5:12 PM
Thanks so much for the lovely comment Lindsay:-) Hugs Jan xx
Pinet Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 12:40 PM
You did a wonderful job here. I read it several times and it slowly came alive for me. The loneliness insecurity and pain of reality came through your words. Emile. #7
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 1:14 PM
Thanks so much Emile it was a sad sight but makes a wonderful subject for my poem:-) Hugs jan xx
La France Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:46 AM
Jan, you have the skill of a true writer that observes the world for inspiration and your poem shows your skill at seeing the world, wonderful writing 7 and thanks for visiting my poetry
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:48 AM
Oh thank you so much for your wonderful comment:-) Hugs jan xx
Callus Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:05 AM
Impressed by your keen eye, Jan! Very descriptive; you turn an ordinary simple moment into poetry. Hugs // paul
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:37 AM
Thanks Paul I am working hard on my imagery but this sadly didn't need any poetic licence it was a very accurate picture of the moment:-) Hugs Jan xx
Andresen Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 5:25 AM
- Sad !!!!!!! - A Blessed Easter to you and your family, Jan :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Allison Avatar
April 3, 2015 at 7:36 AM
Yes isn't it. Thanks for dropping by Anne lise:-) Hugs Jan xx
12
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
The Whiskey Taster’s Flavor Guide
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace