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Disappearing In a Cloud of Smoke

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She stood in the doorway of the house Her vibrant cerise pink dressing gown bulging at the seams - Like a sack of dough tied up in the middle Life has been hard for her and it shows in her face Which was lined like the bark of a gnarled oak tree Clouds of smoke billow from the cigarette that hangs like an icicle from the corner of her mouth I smile and say hello Embarrassed at being seen she lets the cigarette fall Retreating rapidly through the clearing fog back indoors I observed this scene when I was out walking yesterday 3rd April 2015

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Paul Schneiter

Date: 4/22/2015 7:30:00 PM

A slice of the dark side of life presented with quintessential Allison eloquence. Powerful, thought-provoking, and evocative of the aphorism "There but for the grace of God go I." Bravo!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/23/2015 2:14:00 AM

Oh Paul I sincerely hope I never let myself go to this extent - it was really sad to see her:-( Hugs jan xx

James Fraser

Date: 4/4/2015 12:34:00 PM

Such seen witnessed in many a scene Jan. Your fast becoming the all round poet, and that's extremely rare. I'm so glad that your path led you to the Soup, mega hugs/xx/James

Jan Allison
Date: 4/4/2015 12:38:00 PM

I can only thank Jenny Brewer for pushing me for a month to join the site - I doubt I would have grown so much in confidence and ability if it hadn't been for her persistence and seeing something in me that I couldn't :-) I am truly blessed to have someone who believed in me:-) Hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/3/2015 9:24:00 PM

Jan, you asked what this is. If you play around with it and work on good line breaks, making shorter lines. I think it is free verse! A great style for you to explore

Jan Allison
Date: 4/4/2015 5:52:00 AM

Thanks Andrea - I am really happy with the poem and the feedback I've received - wouldn't want to change a word... but i will think on it for the future:-) Hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 4/3/2015 8:42:00 PM

All of this , well has inspired me with an idea! As I have said you guys are great, a breath of fresh air to be able to smile and laugh so much!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 8:57:00 PM

Makes it all worthwhile Arthur:-) Hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 4/3/2015 8:36:00 PM

People will start to wonder what we all have been smoking tonight!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 8:39:00 PM

The only joint I have in one to go in the oven on Sunday lol:-) Hugs jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/3/2015 8:31:00 PM

As far as getting community points...oh good now little jimmy can get his operation now. Those are great for poetry soup also someone like you who reads and comments to so many poets are a great asset and support system to the other poets. I don't see any upside to racking up community points but I guess they're better than a kick in the face...although a kick in the face is nice too! Love You, Armand ??

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 8:39:00 PM

Got too much going on in life that is important than to bother with the lists here am just indebted to Jenny Brewer for believing in me and encouraging me to join here:-) Hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne
Date: 4/3/2015 8:38:00 PM

As per your reply above, you are so right and you are great bro!

Arthur Vaso
Date: 4/3/2015 8:35:00 PM

The best points here, is the laughter, the sharing, you guys are great!

Arthur Vaso

Date: 4/3/2015 8:28:00 PM

And on Maurice s last post I could not agree more, the beauty I have seen here is such a diversity of poetry and expression, its such a joy to see such an abundance of creativity!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 8:36:00 PM

I have to thank you for inspiring me with my new poem Arthur - I am in awe of your creativity :-) Hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 4/3/2015 8:26:00 PM

Home depot Floor tiles are only 1.99 a tile!!!!! This week only! Get a free poem with every purchase!!!! Now this is spamming!!!!! LOL

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 8:35:00 PM

LOL you deserve being hauled over the carpet for that comment:-) hugs Jan xx

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 8:35:00 PM

I don't mind you being on top occasionally Armand:-) Hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne
Date: 4/3/2015 8:33:00 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/3/2015 8:24:00 PM

"so there is hope I will write a decent poem one day" are you kidding you have written hundreds of amazing poems. I think everything happens for a reason. There is so much more depth to the poetry you write now than you could have written when you were young. Remember that Grandma Moses did not start painting until she was an older woman and she is considered a master. The great thing about the arts is there in no single mold anyone has to fit into!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 8:33:00 PM

I am sure some people would disagree Armand lol - but I am grateful I have found this creativity which has brought me so much pleasure and relief from the stress in my life in the last 13 months:-) Hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 4/3/2015 8:23:00 PM

I think Jan is brilliant too, then again I think my long lost brother is brilliant too!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 8:28:00 PM

aww am blushing here lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/3/2015 7:48:00 PM

OMG! I just realized this is just like spamming.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:52:00 PM

Ha ha ha :-) - just means you get more community points:-) Hugs jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/3/2015 7:47:00 PM

Of course that is something just between me and Arthur so I don't know why I'm telling you.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:51:00 PM

Ha ha ha - you two would make a great comedy double act:-) Hugs jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/3/2015 7:45:00 PM

I didn't really need to make that last comment but I like to make sure I make a lot more comments than Arthur to any one post.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:50:00 PM

LOL:-) Hugs jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/3/2015 7:44:00 PM

...and you thought you were just writing about some woman with a cigarette.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:50:00 PM

LOL:-) I get inspired by everything around me Armand or events in my life - pity I started writing relatively late in life - saying that my aunt and uncle still write - he is 96 my aunt is 87 so there is hope I will write a decent poem one day:-) Hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/3/2015 7:42:00 PM

Oh yeah and I like it too!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:45:00 PM

:-) Hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/3/2015 7:41:00 PM

Jan you show an incredible strength writing in this style. If I were you I would explore this talent further. You are brilliant no matter the style but I think this is that perfect icing for your perfectly baked cake. I already faved this one or I would fav it now!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:45:00 PM

Aww you are so kind and boost my spirits Armand:-) Hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 4/3/2015 6:57:00 PM

That could even become a Poem title "Blown Away"

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:13:00 PM

Nice thought Arthur - you better write that one I've done my trilogy! Hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 4/3/2015 6:40:00 PM

This what poetry should be, If I was a teacher would use this one to teach a few!!! GAV, (great amazing verse)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 6:43:00 PM

Aww thanks Arthur I am blown away with the positive comments I've had on this write:-) Hugs Jan xx

Jack Ellison

Date: 4/3/2015 6:02:00 PM

You've got an eye for beauty no matter what form it takes... whatta form! Great descriptive write dear sis! Hugs, Jack xxx

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 6:08:00 PM

Thanks so much Jack - always a pleasure to see you visit my page:-) Hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/3/2015 5:45:00 PM

Brilliant imagery. I wasn't really embarrassed being seen after all I was wearing my beautiful cerise pink dressing gown. It's just that wasn't a cigarette I was smoking. Incredible descriptive write!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 5:47:00 PM

LOL Armand your comments really brighten my day:-) Hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 4/3/2015 5:10:00 PM

G'day Jan... most people would walk past without a thought, but not an observance poet like yourself Jan. This poem is really good - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 5:12:00 PM

Thanks so much for the lovely comment Lindsay:-) Hugs Jan xx

Emile Pinet

Date: 4/3/2015 12:40:00 PM

You did a wonderful job here. I read it several times and it slowly came alive for me. The loneliness insecurity and pain of reality came through your words. Emile. #7

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 1:14:00 PM

Thanks so much Emile it was a sad sight but makes a wonderful subject for my poem:-) Hugs jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 4/3/2015 7:46:00 AM

Jan, you have the skill of a true writer that observes the world for inspiration and your poem shows your skill at seeing the world, wonderful writing 7 and thanks for visiting my poetry

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:48:00 AM

Oh thank you so much for your wonderful comment:-) Hugs jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 4/3/2015 7:05:00 AM

Impressed by your keen eye, Jan! Very descriptive; you turn an ordinary simple moment into poetry. Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:37:00 AM

Thanks Paul I am working hard on my imagery but this sadly didn't need any poetic licence it was a very accurate picture of the moment:-) Hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 4/3/2015 5:25:00 AM

- Sad !!!!!!! - A Blessed Easter to you and your family, Jan :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/3/2015 7:36:00 AM

Yes isn't it. Thanks for dropping by Anne lise:-) Hugs Jan xx