Dinner With Myself

I'm going to take myself to dinner Guess you could say a date I'll make sure to bring myself home early I know how I hate to stay out late I'll order off a fancy French menu Just to try and impress myself Cause when it is that I go out I treat myself like no one else I'll carry on a great conversation But of course underneath my breath I don't want those at the next table To think I'm talking to myself I might even order off the desert menu Though I know I'm trying to watch my weight I'll ask for one spoon instead of two Don't want to get too weird on this date When the bill does come around I won't hesitate to pick it up And I won't rudely gasp and comment That I think I ordered the expensive grub I'll drive straight back to the house Then tell myself goodnight Saying I had the best of times Then go inside and shut the lights