Different

Head in my hands sitting thinking...wondering...asking... at 41 I seen what I saw watched with intrigue looked at it all, I was told as a child dream, wish, hope, and always believe it wasn't exactly the secret to life but it helped me through what my eyes had to see I learned to get up when I fall rise above anger and pain learned it is what it is and thats all I triumphed in my loses became humbled in my set backs and gave forgiveness it's dew I let go and fell in love... kissed with passion, and held my life in my arms as it grew yet to know this almost was not that over 20 years ago it could of ended in a parking lot I drank, smoked, and did what adults did as a kid lost my youth and welcomed the dark cried in the rain fought to ease the pain wish for an end as I sat cold and alone in a park company to misery a sinner with saints... for they didn't want to see what was... me around were others but today I stand the only one I don't know why it's only me having fun I didn't let my past build my future or my scars pave my roads I just let it all go why can't they...? the same paths the same opportunity so why...why is it this way? head in my hands I wish it was different I hoped that day would come I believed I could fix it now I just dream what could have been.