Designer Cabinet

The apparent President-elect and her closest advisers gather to build a Cabinet that might survive four years of dwindling hope. Thanks so much for being here. Let's begin with a time of silence, gathering our listening voices and thoughts, hopes and therapeutic vision.... As this time ends, I'm wondering if someone might help me understand why we have a Department of Health and Human Services. Does this "and" imply a mandate to provide healthy services to non-humans? Or, maybe we provide non-healthy human services? Why not just Department of Human Health Services? Well, that would be confusing. Social services, like help for abused and neglected kids, seems rather far afield from health services. In fact, some of those programs are known to cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Maybe Healthy Human Services? And, why is the Department of Education not part of our Healthy Human Services Department? What are the advantages and disadvantages of keeping education separate from "services"? I'm not sure how healthy our educational services are right now. Some of our students don't even feel safe at school, much less happy and healthy. Doesn't that adversely influence learning outcomes? Anyway, your mentioning safety reminds me of the Defense Department. If the Defense Department's mission is not to protect our health and safety then I"m not sure what we are defending, exactly. Maybe we should collapse Defense into a new Department of Healthy and Safe Human Services. Ballistics and safety don't sound right together to me. And what about proactive and preventative strategies, aren't these really more offensive than defensive measures to retain safe environments? What about the Department of Healthy Human Security Services? Seems like security and defense and preventive measures to avoid ugly violence and aggression are already in that word "healthy." It would be an oxymoron to have a Department of Healthy Human Insecurity Services, wouldn't it? Yes, that sounds more like my high school experience. Especially those bathrooms and lethally swarming corridors between classes. Wouldn't the same concerns apply to all the economic, housing, and urban and rural development services? And the Environmental Protection Agency? That sounds like another health agenda to me. Not strictly human services, though. How about a Department of Non-Pathological Development Services? Do you think we could deliver as advertised?