Dermatillomania

Am I a freak? I pick my skin until I bleed It brings me peace and comfort Google says it’s my mental health or OCD It goes away for weeks, but when it comes back I have to feed My fingers just pick my skin without notice Now my thumbs look atrocious I’m an addict minus the drugs and liquor Now I’m officially a bloodsucker because of this disorder I need to sleep But I don’t stop until I feel the need Can they tell? I just picked my skin until I bleed They ask “What happen to your thumb?” And I turn numb This is embarrassing Enough is enough Sadly I wish that’s all I could say to make this stop If I’m sad or upset I would pick my skin until I need to rest What’s wrong with me? I think I need help Back when I was unemployed and depressed I picked my skin to ease the stress But it got so bad I couldn’t walk with sense Yea it’s official I need help Nowadays it’s not as bad But I still keep a box of bandaids on hand I wish this disorder was fake or a fantasy Unfortunately, it’s my reality I think it’s because of my anxiety I try to stop but it’s like trying not to pee as soon as you wake up I need help with my sobriety