Deluded

I asked my daughter if she's happy that I'm gone, her reply was "I'm sad daddy", her face, a picture not to be drawn. How do I reply to something like that? Torn between the one I love and my self created combat. Are you really at peace without me? like I can't even talk to you, feeling the third degree. I don't have it together so please don't assume, waking up every morning feeling impending doom. Reaching a critical point in my life where I wanted to end it all, I cried for help, the reaction from the one I love, I can always recall. The whole thing thought to get attention, adding to my frightening tension. A deluded idea spawned, the failure of commitment dawned. Surrounded by drug addicts, alcoholics and the major depressed, after seeing such things, I realized that I am blessed. Would you be happier if suicide was my answer? Or are you satisfied I'm alive with my soul suffering cancer? A anguish that I truly feel can be cured, from the love you once had for me, a love that seemed to endure.