Declined

Declined Laughing, only to hide the tears, now gathering in the corners of my mouth, drowning me…(I should be so lucky) staring at a reflection in the protective glass, not someone I recognize at this convenience store counter, even if it is me When facing a fool, as I often do, I close my eyes as to not see the sorrowed face, yet I know…I have been warned “Don’t reach for what you cannot have… No hands in the cookie jar, it’ll spoil your appetite” But I don’t listen, I hear, but…I am hungry, she can’t mean me? Not me, not the dancing clown that brings smiles Watch me juggle, my heart, my love, my soul, spotlights transition my lenses and the stage goes dark The minimum wage clerk is not amused, wiping his nose with his hand, then extending it as if requesting payment But I have not purchased, I have only looked, watched her walk to another, thumbing her nose in my direction as if hitch hiking on her face Still I reach for an empty wallet filled with past due receipts and plastic poison, fattening the faux leather Fossil with I.D. holder Another swipe of the card, slowly as directed, magnetic strip inward… declined…what else is new